Ally McBeal
Seeing Green

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Seeing Green

Renee goes with Ally to the drugstore so she can hear Ally moaning about killing Al Green by swallowing a pill. Then, in classic urban-legendary style and in defiance of all laws and drug stores' best interests, the pharmacist gets on his mike and bellows, "Who's waiting for the Prozac?" Ally does her goofy CGI shrinking to show how embarrassed she is. You'd think she would have sued the guy, huh? But whatever. Gee, I don't understand why all the extras in this scene didn't turn around and ridicule Ally. I can't believe DEK missed this opportunity to hammer his point into our heads one more time. Oh, well. I guess that's why I don't get to write TV shows. I don't understand subtlety, I guess.

Nelle is telling Kim in a private meeting that men get the idea that women like to be "taken." She goes on to add that we women contribute to this myth. We're such silly teases, aren't we, ladies? Nelle points out that Kim's already stood up for herself, but that trying to show the world that she's not interested in Kirby is "a little cruel." Then John busts in and says, "Imagine it from his side," all retro-stylin' in his red and white tie. I think they made that tie from the blouse Georgia wore in the season premiere, in fact. John guilt-trips Kim about how popular she is and how she laughs at guys like Kirby. Then he launches into a totally uncalled-for personal anecdote, complete with flashback of Young John and his Bo Duke hair being dissed in a thwarted Goodnight Kiss Moment. This homily serves to make Nelle pity him and to make Kim silently resolve to do whatever it takes to get away from these people.

Billy and Richard come out of the elevator bickering about Richard's impromptu performance at the M-C Pig Anon meeting. Billy tells Richard he won't be going to the next meeting. Georgia walks up with a big "Please kick me in the teeth" smile and chirps, "Can I go?" Billy rolls his eyes and says, "No" all disgusted-like and walks off, and instead of telling him, "Bite me," Georgia just continues to smile. Richard tells her that he can't imagine that Billy's been any good in bed lately. Georgia makes this face like "How'd he know that?" and walks off. You see, folks, Georgia has EMASCULATED Billy by smiling at him so often. You young ladies out there, pay attention. You don't want to scare all your gentleman callers away, now, do you?

Georgia follows Billy to his office and asks him what's going on. Billy says he's been attending seminars that increase male sensitivity towards women. Georgia says, "I beg your pardon?" like a dummy who can't think of anything good to say. Billy says that last week Renee accused him of running from Ally because he'd never be able to subordinate her. Way to work the male sensitivity, Billy. And I swear he really did say "last week." So that means that he's gone to three of the meetings THIS week, and Ally goes to her therapist two or three times a day. Georgia's smile remains in place while Billy gives her what-for about how she asserted her independence by dressing sexily a while back. He actually tells her that he considers her a possession of his. He says that he feels it should be his right to control her. Georgia's brilliant reply to this is, "Wha-what was that?" Billy's like, "I'm not saying it's right..." and then he goes on to tell her that he expects her to quit working when they have kids. Georgia snatches away the baseball he's been playing with and throws it in the trash. She asks what other little revelations he has for her. Billy is too stupid to back down and he spouts some more goofy misogynist crap. And he tells her he'd have a big problem with her if she put on a hundred pounds. And I tell him, "Don't worry, Billy. If she put on a hundred pounds, she'd be written out of the show." Georgia tells him, "I -- I never saw this in you." Billy says it's there and Richard's right and he, Billy, shouldn't have to apologize for these feelings. Doormat -- I mean, Georgia, says absolutely nothing. Georgia, you are so lame. Get out of here and take your sorry-ass husband with you.

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Ally McBeal




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