Ally McBeal
Sex, Lies, And Second Thoughts

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Sex, Lies, And Second Thoughts

At the morning meeting, Richard tells us about Ringer et al vs. Keebler. Nelle looks like she stayed up all night drinking, fell asleep on someone's carpet, woke up late, and then had a few more drinks. She asks how John managed to get an annulment proceeding to be heard in front of a jury. John explains that he did it in some totally contrived way, and then his nose whistles. Richard asks if he's nervous. John says he's practicing throwing the whistle because he's "up against Raditz" in this case. Mark is incredulous. Ally has an announcement to make. She pretends that it's important and relevant to the firm's business that Brian's asked her to move in with him. They're underwhelmed. Ling says Brian's boring. In a failed attempt at humor, John makes it seem that Nelle's nose has whistled.

"Seven hundred thousand dollars?" asks John's client, Maureen Ringer. That's how much her husband Wayne Keebler wants to settle for, apparently. Maureen interrupts John several times. He yells at her and then says about her husband, "Maybe the man walked out on you so he could complete a sentence." Maureen reminds John that she walked out on him. Then John reveals that he and Maureen are old friends. I'd hate to see the way he behaves unprofessionally with his enemies. John warns his alleged old friend that he'll have to say severe things about her if they go to trial. Maureen says that she'll resign herself to being called fat, ugly, and lonely, but she won't be called a fool. Don't make any plans, Maureen.

Ally walks into Tracy's office and finds Robert Downey, Jr., there moving his stuff in. He can move his stuff in with me anytime, heh, heh. Just kidding. He is the most attractive man they've had on the show for a while, though. Isn't that sad? Ally asks for Tracy, and he tells her Tracy moved to Foxborough. She took all her files but Ally's and didn't leave a phone number. Robert D. J. introduces himself as Larry Paul. He asks what the problem is. She starts to tell him about Brian asking her to move in with him. "Bastard," says Larry. "My advice is dump him." He launches into the same less kind, less gentle, John Gray-type crap that Richard's spouted for the last three seasons. Every male character on this show either has the same philosophy, or else he rolls his eyes at the others until he adopts it, too. Larry guesses that Ally and Brian aren't having good sex. She blurts out that it's terrible, then amends that it's not great. Larry advises her to be brutally honest and dump Brian. Ally glares at him and leaves. He whistles and says, "Tried to help..." This $1.99-romance-paperback hostile sexual tension shtick is getting so, so old. Why does Ally have to do this with every man she meets? Does anyone act like this outside of television programs anymore?

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Ally McBeal




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