Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Gwen: F | 368 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
John-a-Tronic And Richard-a-Licious

Meanwhile, Richard meets with Jane and Frankie, her polyester-clad agent. Frankie agrees to let Jane out of her contract for three percent of her future earnings as a legitimate actress. He also wants tickets to the Golden Globes when she wins one. I guess he couldn't say "Oscarâ„¢." Richard and Jane agree to this ridiculous proposal, since the only thing that matters is the cleavage Alexandra Holden is showing through the laces of her white halter top.

Richard and John meet back at their hotel room and discuss the fact that John got Cassandra $4.2 million. Wow. Where's the shining armor? What would the foxy women of Los Angeles do without such heroes? Jane shows up to thank Richard again. John makes himself scarce so that Jane can ask Richard to stay in L.A. for one more day. He's too chicken. How weak. What, he doesn't own his own law firm? He can't call in sick if he wants? Jane moves forward as if to kiss Richard. He blows the scene by asking if he can take a picture of her naked. She blows it harder by saying, "If you want to see me naked, you're gonna have to stay a few more days." The piano plays softly as if this dialogue isn't completely skanky. Richard gives his "you're an actress in Los Angeles and I'm a lawyer in Boston" goodbye speech. Jane still wants to walk him to his car, though.

At the airport, Cassandra shows up to give John a painting called "Gentle Soul" or some shit. She didn't even paint it herself, either. It's by "an unknown artist." Does she own a studio or a gallery? Or maybe it's actually a thrift store. She thanks John for the hope he gave her, and asks permission to kiss him goodbye. "I suppose...if you must," Smoove Chickenshit John says. She kisses him like the desperate loser she must be. Jane and Richard hug goodbye. I wonder if Alexandra Holden refused to kiss Greg Germann. Maybe she was scared I'd kick her ass. I'm so over him, though. This John-filled episode has killed the last remnants of any love I might have felt for old Greg. Sorry, buddy. John and Richard take a sober limo ride to the airport and the episode finally, mercifully, ends.

Next week: Larry and Jackson "go toe to toe," and "guess who gets caught in the middle?" Hint: it's the most annoying-ass namesake on the show. Also, Elaine has a "secret" affair, which means that she kisses some guy while Larry and Ally watch from twenty feet away.

Ally McBeal

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP