Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
730 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Kimmy the Prude

Ally runs out of the courtroom to find Larry but he's gone. Renee jiggles up just in time to ask her what's wrong. "Billy told me once that I was incapable of ever being happy. Was he right?" she asks. Renee fails to comfort Ally when she points out that Billy also thought his brain tumor was just a headache. Yeah, that was real classy, Renee. Then she says that Ally has something good to lose, meaning Larry. I wish Ally would hurry up and lose him, then, because I feel sorrier for Robert Downey, Jr. every week.

Ally's working late when Larry calls. She chats casually and then says, "Yeah...we should get together sometime. That would be good." Then she tells him goodnight, hangs up, and sulks. Vonda sings some shit about remembering love being an ember. Larry walks in, startling Ally. He used his cell phone, you see. He comments on her "get together sometime" comment and asks if he's expected to just wait around until she "get[s] with the program." He's not afraid of their relationship. Ally tells him that he's only seen the tip of the "neurotic iceberg" and that she's demented. "What else?" he asks. She says she's self-absorbed, vain, and beautiful. Um, Ally, you're on TV. We can see you, you know. She says that she may be incapable of letting herself be loved. Larry's willing to work on that. They kiss. He says, "I think you remember how to do it." Ally burrows in his chest and he holds her tight, all night, feeling so right, etc.

Richard and Ling dance at The Bar. They rub their faces together in a way that I guess is supposed to be "hot." Kimmy dances stiffly with John. Elaine and Nelle sit and watch. Nelle looks pissed as hell, too.

Ally and Larry dance some more in her office. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?" she asks. He says she will. "And the day after that?" she says. He agrees. We fade into an overhead shot of them dancing some more, and then the show's over. What -- no walking down the sidewalk? What a rip-off.

Next week: Ally and Larry buy a Christmas tree and then sit at a piano together. Gag! Kimmy and John tic together some more. Ally is shocked that someone said there was no Santa Claus. GAG. Mark asks Elaine out and then asks if she has a penis, just to be certain. Larry tells Ally that she'll be "stunned" by the capacity she has to love somebody. Gag, gag, gag.

Ally McBeal

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