Ally McBeal
The Man With The Bag

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Gwen: D+ | Grade It Now!
The Man With The Bag

Ling sits in Ally's office and takes her turn at the "don't trust your man with his ex" spiel. Jamie shows up and Ling growls at her more than once. Ally literally shoves Ling out the door. Jamie allegedly just came by to make sure that it was okay with Ally that she go to the party. Ally acts all polite. Jamie is very wily and ascertains that Ally hasn't yet slept with Larry. I watch this and complain that any normal person would have told Jamie to mind her own freaking business. My dad points out that Ally doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize Larry's friendly relationship with Jamie, because he'll still want to see his son. I have to concede to my dad's good point. Don't worry, though; soon I will coax my dad over to the Ally-Hating Dark Side.

Later, Ally goes to Larry's office and complains long and loud about Jamie and her obvious plan to hook up with Larry again. Larry starts to call Jamie and tell her not to come. Ally backs down and tells Larry just to stay close to her. Larry wears a really ugly plaid jacket.

Nelle and John decide to work on their case through the staff party. John asks Mr. Claus if he's started making toys yet. He tells John that he's retired -- that Toys 'R' Us handles toy distribution now. Well, that makes sense. I guess Wal-Mart couldn't afford name placement in this episode. Nelle's dad points out that he, as Santa -- as a symbol -- is needed more than ever by the children of the world now. He glances at Nelle when he says this so that we can all realize what a bad ice-queen daughter she is. Okay, DEK. We got the point last week. Santa's needed as a symbol so you can sell more ad time. We get it.

At The Bar party, Renee wears red plunging cleavage and sings. She's supposed to be sexy, but her trembling lower jaw would have annoyed my voice teacher very much. Jamie points out to Ally and Larry that Renee's song is from Godspell. She goes on to inform Ally that she and Larry did Godspell together in college, that Larry played Jesus, and that she called him Jesus at home "after the second coming." At least, that's what it sounded like she said. Maybe I'm improving upon it a little, though. The resulting silence is quickly filled by Elaine complimenting Renee's singing. "Jamie," prompts Larry. Jamie apologizes to Ally. How embarrassing. Ally should just leave. Or she should pick up a hot guy. Something.

Back in court, Nelle's dad tells everyone that while he was in law school, he made toys in his sleep. He would be transported into another world during the night. He can't do it so often anymore, though, because he's retired. The defense attorney asks Nelle's dad to guess how many kids he has. At first Daddy Claus says three, but after being corrected, Daddy's able to name all four of the lawyer's children. The judge asks, "Mr. Claus, how many children do I have?" and Nelle's dad tells him he has a teenage son who doesn't like his father. The defense attorney accuses John of setting up a trick. John objects. The defense attorney gets Nelle's dad to admit that he tells his students that every day is Christmas. Daddy Claus explains that you can live every day as Christmas if you consider how much you love your friends, and not how much they love you, and if you do some other stuff that I stopped listening to.

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Ally McBeal




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