Ally McBeal
The Man With The Bag

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D+ | Grade It Now!
The Man With The Bag

Vonda sings "The Man with the Bag" while John and Nelle join Richard and Ling. With relish, Ling gives them the dirt on Ally.

Larry shows up at Ally's office to stop her fuming. Ally makes a speech about not having the right to be possessive. Larry tells her that Jamie wants to be a family again, and that he agreed -- that they should work it out any way they can. Ally gets all chokey and ready to impale herself on the letter opener. Larry goes on to say that there's no way he can work it out with Jamie, however, because he's "so totally in love with someone else." Ally perks up and Larry smirks. What a sweet guy, huh? It's so romantic when your boyfriend tortures you. Ally doesn't know what to say. She sniffs and sobs a bit. I'm just glad someone combed her hair. She's hardly annoyed me at all this episode. She's losing her touch. Jamie's on the way back to Detroit and Larry wants Ally to go back to the party with him.

After another brief fake-out, the judge rules in favor of Nelle's dad. Since there's been no harm done and there's a shortage of teachers, especially "magical" ones, and there's always a teacher's aide in the room anyway, His Honor sees "no basis for terminating a teacher's employment just because he's Santa Claus." My dad doesn't suppose that I can, in that last sentence, fit the Santa Claus initials in fancy script. I smirk. So does John as Nelle shakes her head in joyful wonder. After a long awkward moment, Nelle hugs her father and offers to walk him to her apartment. He mentions that she doesn't have a chimney. She ignores that. John says something sage as Nelle's leaving but I didn't catch it because my cell phone rang and I don't ever care about anything John says.

Vonda sings "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" which happens to be my favorite non-Christmas Christmas song. Richard and Ling dance. Larry and Ally dance and Larry caresses Ally's upper arm bone. Nelle and her dad stroll down the sidewalk wishing they were cool like me and my dad. John gives a buck to a Salvation Army Santa, then ends up giving the rest of his money to several grabby homeless people. Jamie walks back into the bar, sees Ally and Larry all snuggly-wuggly, and walks out again. Damn, Famke Janssen is fine.

Next week: I recap the episode I didn't recap last year.

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Ally McBeal




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