THEN...check this out...Nelle sings. "When I was nine years old, my daddy ran away with a woman and man on a train..." Um, okay...At least Nelle's all got her makeup all tarted out, though. Her voice is weak, but she looks sweet. We pan-and-fade over to Renee doing the chorus. "She's got the blues! This girl!" Now it's time for John to sing. "A year ago/ I met a girl/ I thought we hit a massive groove/ But she dumped me/ And all we hit was the bloooo-ooo-ooo-oooos! I've got the blues!" I totally take back what I said about John being an okay singer. He sucks. Stand up, take a deep breath, and sing it from your chest, John. Or, better yet, just shut up. The rotating, fading camera takes in John, Nelle, and Renee singing about having the blues. Then we see them in three-way split screen. It's really incredibly stupid.
Ally, Brian and her parents have dinner at a table with the same little lamp that's on all the restaurant tables on this show. I'm not even going to get into the inane conversation going on with these four. Suffice it to say that George, Ally's dad, is pissed that his precious Electra found herself a man. I say: too bad he didn't get to have dinner with that homeless guy Ally was dating. Ally's nervousness causes her to laugh like a hyena. Either that or she's on speed. Well, maybe it's both. Brian tries to joke around and play it all off. Ally does her patented spit take, spitting a hunk of food onto her dad's forehead. Yeah, that's freaking hilarious. Now I understand why the critics love this show. It's the tight blouses, right? Ally hears Gloria Gaynor, then hallucinates the waiter serenading her. Then she hallucinates the Brian and her parents are singing in crappy almost-harmony. Then Young Ally appears and sings to her dad. Then all the patrons in the whole place sing. Ally gets up and runs off. I don't even have any more commentary regarding her obvious insanity. This season has sucked it all out of me.