Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
1026 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Musical, Almost

The commercial for that Rocky and Bullwinkle movie comes on, and you can tell it totally sucks, just like its predecessor, Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I'm glad to see it, though, because they're playing that song "Dreamer" by Supertramp and I'd much rather hear that than any more songs by the cast of Ally McBeal.

The next day in Ally's office, her dad acts like he wasn't purposely rude to Brian. Ally asks why he didn't attend Billy's funeral. I wonder why her parents are in this episode. I thought they were splitting up. We see them on Thanksgiving, and then now. I thought Ally's daddy issues were all squared away. Even if they aren't, the season finale is hardly the time to resurrect them. But whatever. Ally's bangs are shorter now, but they still look like hell. She stomps out of her office, leaving her father to stand and stare.

John's yelling because apparently Richard's considering rehiring Nelle. John hates Nelle. Richard won't take her back without John's permission. John has a Gratuitous Childhood Trauma Confession and Song. "Johnny the fat boy, isn't he round?" John still can't sing. He says Nelle ridiculed him. Then Nelle walks in, saying, "And what about you?" She gives a speech about John's disapproval of her personality. John tells her to leave. She says John didn't want her in his life -- that she understood that even before he did. She leaves. Who cares?

"I am NOT gonna make love to you," Brian's telling Ally at her apartment. He doesn't want to do Ally because she only wants to do him because she's angry at her father. SICK! Brian says he'll dance with her, instead.

Richard tells John to suck it up. He reveals that he has his own little theme song. He starts monotoning, "You Can't Keep a Good Man Down." John's like, "Could you at least hit a note? Richard, you're tone deaf." Cut to Elaine singing the same song at John's party. Cut to Brian singing it to Ally. He can't sing for shit, either, by the way. Elaine's doing this number in man-drag with three matching dancers behind. John joins in on the mauling of this song. Bridge. Brian and Ally dance. Richard and John dance, and that's actually funny. Bridge is over. Elaine can sing. I like Elaine. Song's over.

Ally McBeal

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