The firm has a front row seat for the concert. They also have their own spotlight. Tina's spokesperson (the woman giving the rules earlier) leans down to Elaine and tells her that between the two of them she wants Elaine to know that she was the best dancer out there. It's just that Tina can't have someone showing her up like that. No one can be on stage who's better than The Lady. She says that Elaine was too good. Elaine is ecstatic. Tina's spokesperson stands up and gives a wink. Ling gives her an approving look back. Elaine is happy. Ling is happy. Tina's spokeswoman goes totally against her character to do something nice. Oh, whatever. I'm still smiling. I like Ling.
The lights fade and Tina Turner is announced. Everyone claps. Tina lip-synchs badly to her own song. I don't think it's her fault; they just put the sound on at the wrong speed or something. Richard wonders if Tina had a wattlectomy. He asks where Ally is, and the lights come up on her. She's swinging back and forth, back and forth in her own spotlight. She's right next to Tina. As Ally keeps in time to the music (there is no need for the shaking that happened last night) she shows how many more Tae-Bo moves she knows. Ally keeps her vacant stare, but it keeps focusing on Billy and Sandy exchanging intimate glances. The song continues. Ally keeps dancing, and then they show the audience, but everyone is blonde. Wha? Oh, God. At first I thought I had too many beers, but as they show the shot again it's clear that they've made a Being Billy Malkovich scene that's just incredibly frightening. It's more like Aphex Twin's "Come To Daddy." Hundreds of Billys fill the room and cheer for Ally. Billy and Sandy giggle. Ally winces. Lots of Billys. They clap and cheer and shout Ally's name. Tina sings. Ally moves back and forth. Room full of Billys. Elaine cheers. Billy claps. Tina Tinas. Vacant stare from Ally. Billy and Sandy. Roomful of Billy on the forty-five. The Billys toss something that looks like rose petals at her. She closes her eyes so we can see the tremendous amount of blue eye shadow they put on her. Billy smiles in slow motion. Ally opens her eyes in slow motion. Sandy claps in slow motion. Billy stares at Sandy. Ally doesn't even really move anymore, but just stares at Billy. The Billys toss more rose petals. Fade to commercial as Ally thinks that she'll never have one day of happiness. Lord, I hope not.