Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

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703 USERS: C+
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Keep Smiling, Old Man

In court, the Thompson son testifies that his father used to be ruthless. Then he was conked on the head, developed a brain clot, and now one of his glands produces an abnormal amount of a euphoria-inducing hormone. Whatever. Thompson Son says that the company stock has dropped since Thompson Dad got all happy and started paying for employee benefits all over the place. Thompson Dad could be "cured" with a simple medical procedure, but he refuses. Ling asserts that Thompson Dad is competent enough to care for himself and his wife. From Thompson Son's frustrated response, we're supposed to glean that he cares more about money than his own father's happiness. I don't care enough about these characters to do any gleaning, though.

In an office that looks like all the others, Gilbert Breen frets about the lack of trust he shows by filing a pre-nup. Jackson smooth talks him. Jackson's lavender tie is lame.

Ally and Julie the Fiancée walk into the F&C lobby, chatting about the fact that Julie and Gilbert have a love of skiing in common. How very interesting. Elaine walks up with a huge bouquet of roses that was obviously arranged by the same person who did the flowers that Ally got from George or Michael earlier this season. I recognize the style. Nice job, staff florist! Elaine wants Ally to hide the flowers for her. Mark walks up and assumes that the flowers are for Ally, from Larry. Larry walks in right on cue, holding a tissue to his chin in a chin-touching homage to his girlfriend. Elaine plays the whole thing off, fooling Mark for the moment.

Ally and Julie meet Gilbert and Jackson, and Jackson tells Julie that he's just going to draw up a "standard, boilerplate provision" of a pre-nuptial agreement. Ally purses her lips irritatingly and Larry's ears swivel towards the group. Then Ally butts in, saying that Julie needs representation of her own. She implies that the firm needs this precaution for ethical or liability reasons. Then she hauls Larry over and basically hires him on Julie's behalf. Jackson is annoyed. "Excuse me? Excuse me?" he says. Gilbert and Julie walk off innocently and snuggle in the elevator. "What the hell was that?" Jackson says. Ally dabs at Larry's chin and replies that she was just making sure things were "on the up-and-up." Where are your brave ethics when your friend John is abusing Nelle for everyone's amusement, Ally?

Ally McBeal

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