Ally McBeal
The Pursuit Of Unhappiness

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Keep Smiling, Old Man

The meeting continues. Richard informs us that Gilbert Breen, longtime client, is coming into Fish & Cage to update his will before getting married. Richard tells Jackson, who's handling Mr. Breen, that the client is "fat, bald, rich" and that his fiancée is beautiful. "Just to be safe -- pre-nup," says Richard, while Ally looks thoughtful. Next up, Ling's representing Thompson Shipping. Mr. Thompson's son is trying to have his father declared too incompetent to run the company. Why? Because Mr. Thompson is too happy. This pisses off John, who snivels, "That is bloody rich," as his employees look on silently. Shut the fuck up, John. For the love of all that is televised, please shut the fuck up. Didn't this man just take a vacation? Someone, please shove his ass out the window.

Ally accosts Elaine in the lobby, putting her arm, chin, and spiral-waved hair all over Elaine's shoulders. Ally says that she saw Elaine making out with the Other Guy the night before. Elaine explains that she "slipped." She babbles out all the circumstances, which don't really excuse what she did at all. Ally stands there looking high, mighty, and full of collarbones.

Still in the lobby, John apologizes to Nelle and explains that he's been in a bad mood because he misses Melanie. "I understand," Nelle tells him. "And if there's anything I can do…" Here I'm gleefully expecting her to tell his ass off, but instead she just says, "Poop," and gives him a dirty look. Whatever.

Meanwhile, Jackson is meeting with Breen and Fiancée on the other side of the lobby. He suggests a pre-nuptial agreement but Mr. Breen blows it off. Jackson calls Ally over and tells her to get a list of beneficiaries from the fiancée so that he can take Breen aside and convince him to pay for the pre-nup. Mr. Breen is a little on the chunk-style side and doesn't have a lot of hair on top, but he's well groomed and has a pleasant facial expression. The fiancée is thin and also well groomed, but not much prettier than average. I don't see what the big deal is.

In court, the Thompson son testifies that his father used to be ruthless. Then he was conked on the head, developed a brain clot, and now one of his glands produces an abnormal amount of a euphoria-inducing hormone. Whatever. Thompson Son says that the company stock has dropped since Thompson Dad got all happy and started paying for employee benefits all over the place. Thompson Dad could be "cured" with a simple medical procedure, but he refuses. Ling asserts that Thompson Dad is competent enough to care for himself and his wife. From Thompson Son's frustrated response, we're supposed to glean that he cares more about money than his own father's happiness. I don't care enough about these characters to do any gleaning, though.

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Ally McBeal

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