Ally McBeal
The Wedding

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Do a Little Dance, Kill a Little Baby

Ally's new client, Malcolm Wyatt (who is played by Josh Goban), is standing in the lobby. He's accompanied by "Reverend Harris," the nelly/nerdy scientist who testified about the fascinating world of human cloning a couple of episodes ago. "God and science are not always mutually exclusive," the Reverend says, trying to make light of the inexplicable decision by the casting director to use him again. Malcolm is one of the Reverend's choirboys. We learn that he asked some girl to prom in the fall. She accepted, but then told him a week before prom that she was going with another boy instead. The Reverend thinks that Malcolm has a case against his former date. Ally says they'd have to show irreparable harm and asks whether there's something special about this girl. Malcolm explains that he's been best friends with her since ninth grade and he loves her and blah, blah. Ally's been making goo-goo eyes at him this whole time, so she says she'll confer with them further instead of just laughing them out the door. Then she hallucinates Billy standing in her office doorway. Malcolm, with his big dry jheri-curl-looking hair, waits in the lobby while Ally and the Reverend walk through HalluciBilly.

Rev. Harris explains that Malcolm is "a bit of a necrophiliac." Ally figures that he meant to say that Malcolm's agoraphobic. This is played for chuckles, even though we were supposed to believe the other week that Rev. Harris was an expert witness when it came to groundbreaking genetics. We learn that Malcolm overcame his pathological shyness and agreed to sing a solo at the prom because he was filled with confidence when Andrea Mason agreed to be his date. ["Who the hell sings at a prom?" -- Wing Chun] When she ditched him for another guy, he became despondent. Rev. Harris thinks that filing suit against Andrea will "embolden" Malcolm. Whatever. Oh, and guess what? Larry Paul is representing Andrea. What-the-hell-ever. Sheesh.

One of Vonda's backup peeps sings "Rescue Me" at The Bar. My closed-captioning calls her "VAEN," but it's always leaving letters out of most of the words, so I'm going to assume this woman's name is either Valencia or Veronica Veronese. Richard dances with Jane while Ling and Nelle watch cattily. At another table, John suggests that Ally call Larry. Ally refuses and then asks John to dance. Vonda sings that "For Once" song that never, ever gets old and Ally runs off in a sad tizzy, saying she has work to do.

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Ally McBeal

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