Ally McBeal
Troubled Water

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | 1 USERS: A-
Troubled Water

Boston. Night. Violin. Piano. Unisex. Ling and Nelle gossiping at the mirror. Nelle believes that men only dye their hair when they're undergoing a crisis. Ling says that Billy's not even capable of a crisis, that he has the personality of a nail but without the sharp end. The toilet flushes. Guess who comes out of the stall. Give up? It's Billy. He tells Ling she should've looked under the stall doors. Unperturbed, she says, "It's not like I was saying anything nice." Billy rinses his hands as Nelle offers to kiss the "boo boo" that is his hurt feelings. Billy says he's getting tired of Nelle treating him like "some Beanie Baby." He wants to know if she does it to titillate him or to dis Georgia. Nelle says it's the former. Billy turns to the mirror and gives himself a haughty smirk as the opening line of "New Man in Town" plays. Buoyed by this mini masturbatory moment, he's ready to harsh on Nelle. "Ya wanna turn me on, Nelle? Try acting a little older than a high-school sophomore." OOH. PUTDOWN. Ling meows or something in the background while Nelle just smiles. Nelle is wearing a white shirt which is partially covered by a shrunken red vest, the likes of which haven't been seen since Clueless. "How's this..." she purrs, sauntering over to him and forcefully putting her hand under my television screen and onto Billy's groinoidal area. "Junior," she says. The soundtrack melts away and Billy runs out of the restroom. Nelle and Ling cackle. ["Gwen, you're just making all that up, right? That didn't happen, right?" -- Wing Chun]

Georgia is at her secret bar with George. "Think he's having an affair?" George asks. No, but Georgia thinks that he might want to. "Do you?" asks George. Georgia pauses in her red turtleneck sweater that is either topped by a funky brown jumper or else just weirdly color-blocked. She points out that they don't even know each other's last names. Instead of just telling her his, George says something about the mystery making her more exotic. Georgia gives him a "That wasn't really funny, but you turn me on" chuckle. She admits that she sort of wishes Billy Goat would follow her to the bar one night and catch her talking to a handsome man. Then she tries to change the subject to George's wife. He says that his wife thinks he's working late. Then he smoothly segues: "It's getting late...I should go." Georgia pants as she asks if she'll see him the next evening. He has to tell her that the next day is Thanksgiving. Georgia laughs at her own hilarious, endearing, pathetic forgetfulness. Then she says "Friday?" Woo. Shake it, don't break it, Georgia. George takes her hand and says it's a date. He kisses her cheek as she closes her eyes and kisses the air. Georgia is all Desperate Dog, not letting go of his hand. He sits back down and pulls the old "Wouldn't it make your man EXTRA jealous if you were to KISS me?" routine. They kiss. Slightly open mouths, no visible tongue.

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Ally McBeal




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