I think it's kind of harsh that Black & Decker forced Eartha Kitt to say, "I eat cat litter for lunch." I also think that Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo is going to be one of the most insulting movies of the decade.
We're treated to a sepia-tinted flashback of Little Girl Ally and her dad singing at a piano. It fades into Ally staring at the space in front of her vanity mirror. Ally's mom walks in and starts trying to talk about the affair. Ally doesn't want to hear it, but her mom plows on. George was so into his career. She was so alone. Ally's mom needs Ally's help. George just asked for a divorce.
Everyone else from the whole show is sitting around a dinner table somewhere. Elaine is singing grace while the others mutter. Ling makes a lame crack about Whipper's age. Whipper jumps up and tells Richard they need to talk in private. Richard's alarm thingy goes off, but he goes to the Whipper as Ling smiles and helps herself to dressing.
The McBeals hash over the affairs some more and manage to fit in the word "penis" twice. Then Ally makes a stupid statement about her parents being required to be happily married for as long as Ally lives. She says she's gonna call her therapist so they can all talk. Gee, it's a good thing Tracy the Therapist is another family-less person who has nothing better to do than hang out with Ally on Thanksgiving.
Whipper wants to know why Richard's been fondling her wattle if he means to continue shaking his bon-bon with Ling. Richard indicates that Whipper's good for companionship and stuff, but that sex is more important to him in a relationship, and that's why he's with Ling. If he lived with Whipper, he'd spend so much time talking and sharing intimate moments with her that he'd be too tired for sex. Eventually they would tire of talking to each other. He and Ling don't enjoy talking to each other to begin with, and the sex is great. That's his reasoning. Whipper ignores all this. "Do you think you're fooling me with these Fishisms, Richard?" she asks him. She says that his fear has caused him to regress to the same emotional coward he used to be. She hopes that he gets what he's looking for with Thing, and when he does, he's not to come running to her. Throughout this speech, Richard runs through a sampling of his cute-mug repertoire. Whipper peels out of the room in a huff. She gathers her stuff. Renee says blah blah. Whipper announces that she's leaving. Ling goes, "Was it something that I said? Tell me, so I can write it down!" as Whipper exits. Richard comes back into the dining area and tells Ling to be quiet. Elaine starts to say something and Richard barks at her to be quiet, too. Then he goes after Whipper. Richard is so freaking cute when he's mad. Ling nonchalantly says, "He just left me alone. On Thanksgiving Day. Stuffing?"