Ally McBeal
Troubled Water

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Gwen: D | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Troubled Water

Tracy the Therapist spends several moments recapping the whole history of McBealian romantic discretions because this show doesn't have enough plot to last a whole hour, so the characters need to keep saying the same stuff in different ways. They say "penis" a couple of more times, Tracy works the electric couch on them, and then Tracy tells them to have a cookie so they can shut up and she can hear what's going on. Ally grasps for a cookie and doesn't get one. Bicker, electric couch, bicker. Ally carps about not getting her cookie. Tracy busts out an air horn on them. Ha. Okay, here comes the ridiculous revelation of the hour. Get ready. Tracy wants to know why the twenty-six-year-old affair is the one causing the problem. George says it's because Jeannie (THAT'S Ally's mom's name) fell in love with someone else. "So did you," says Jeannie smugly. Who? Who did George fall in love with? Who could it be? He doesn't know. He had a love affair that wasn't sexual but that pre-empted his relationship with Jeannie. George wants to know who she's talking about. A couple of more seconds of dragging it out and then...it was Ally. He was in love with his own daughter. "Muh-muh-me?" Ally asks, as her ego begins to get aroused. "You're jealous of your own daughter?" George asks. Jeannie describes the way George totally kicked her to the curb after Ally was born. Tracy nods sagely. Jeannie says that after Ally moved out on her own, George just "died." Jill Claybourgh's doing a good job with this dreck and I feel bad for her that she has to be on this show.

"...and it's been like this...slow death..." Georgia's telling Billy at their house or wherever. Oh, wait, no...it looks like they're at the office. LOSERS MUCH? Go home, people! Live your lives outside of work for a while! It's a freaking holiday! Somebody buy these people some extra living-room sets, especially if y'all aren't planning to show court cases on this show anymore! Georgia says that their marriage has been going downhill ever since Ally came to work for the firm and blah blah blah. She kissed George to get back at him. The new Billy makes her want to vomit. Ha. Billy almost squints at this, but then he realizes he's showing too much emotion and restrains himself. Georgia says that all her life she's been fighting the Barbie-doll image that others thrust upon her. Now Billy wants her to be his Barbie doll, but she never will. She's giving him his ticket out of their marriage. He can blame her for kissing George, since he hates to be the bad guy. "Maybe we need to take a break from each other," Billy says and nods. Georgia negates his nod by shaking her head and says, "You're not looking to take a break, Billy. You're looking to make one." Billy rolls his eyes. Georgia lets go of her security pillow, gets off her chair, and wishes Billy a happy Thanksgiving as she saunters out of the scene. Billy actually looks a little chagrined. Although Georgia didn't rank on Billy near enough for my tastes, I'm glad she finally told him to get out of her life. Even if it was in a really passive-aggressive way.

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Ally McBeal

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