Ally McBeal
Turning Thirty

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Turning Thirty

Court decision. It's like eleven at night or something. I don't understand. Titties O'Puffymouth is not guilty. As she leans over to exhale her breasts hit a pencil and pop. She begins flying around the room until John catches her and puts his face in her chest. That doesn't happen, but it practically does.

Everyone is back singing and dancing. Lisa has joined Elaine and Renee to sing "I'll Be There." Everyone at this bar has been paid to love Ally, obviously. Dancing. Dancing. Dancing.

Late that night, Ally calls her dad. She thanks him for calling her earlier. She says she had a great day. She says it wasn't too tough, and that she didn't think about Billy too much. Just a normal day. She says that she has to go and she'll call him later. She hangs up and cries. He's there, of course, right next to her. He says that people keep bringing him up. He says it must be tough to be alone on your birthday. Ally tells Billy that she wasn't alone. She had a roomful of people. Billy offers to walk her home. She says "not tonight," as it would ruin her signature move.

Some roller hockey boys play some Midnight Street Roller Hockey that the Boston kids apparently love these days. Vonda keeps wailing as Ally gets to her house. She looks behind her at the kids playing and walks in her house as Vonda wishes, "Momma cradle me again." Like Ally isn't some sort of baby or something.

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Ally McBeal

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