Ally's face goes through some sort of doctor screen thing where they put a grid over an image of her. He tells her that she has very beautiful lips. Ally takes the opportunity to start grabbing her lips and pulling them everywhere. He says that he can make it even more beautiful, and she's all, "No," and then giggly and looking at the "after" picture he made and is all, "I do look good there," and I can't imagine that the one thing this girl wants to draw even more attention to on her face is her huge puffy lips. Ally: call Whipper. Ask what she'd do here.
"Are you nuts?" Creepy Teeth is talking to the client. She asks if it's going to get her off. "No, you're about to get John off." Side shot of the client's cleavage as John stares. I couldn't even tell that they were breasts in the first few seconds. Apparently the client is being accused of smothering her husband to death with her breasts. God, I hope they don't end the season without a client defending the murder case about her killing her lover with her cooter smell, because I just feel like we haven't really covered every single offensive, anti-women, degrading, excuse-for-genital-part-naming, booby-showing, ass-grabbing, men-bashing-women talking, slut-calling, two-timing, money-whoring, titty-touching, fiancé-stealing, plastic-surgery-getting, freak-jabbing, mental-health-problem-mocking, fourth grade caliber of comedy gold this year. Creepy Teeth says that the client cannot walk in "flaunting the deadly weapons." Shot of breasts. John watches. Titties O' Puffymouth says that this outfit was all she brought. Creepy Teeth says she's going to have to change. There's a bit of an argument about how her husband was eighty-nine years old and whether or not she loved him. She asks John if he ever talks. John Porky Pigs for a while until Creepy Teeth interrupts him to say that he'll shop while John works on getting the continuance. He reminds Titties O'Puffymouth that she's on trial for murder.
Elaine tries to talk Nelle into doing a singing number at Ally's party. The dialogue goes a bit like this: "Meow." "Meow." "Meeee-ow!" "Meh." "Meirrrriir." "Meow." Elaine offers to let Nelle do a piece of drama, and reenact the moment she broke up with John. It's followed with, "You coldhearted, cunning, conniving bitch." (Hey DEK: thanks for almost saying "cunt." Keep 'em coming. Huh-huh. Love, pamie.) "This is why I don't get along with secretaries," Nelle says with a smile. Nelle closes with, "Oh, and Elaine, remember to forget to wear underwear. It takes the attention off the fact you don't sing very well." Elaine tries to laugh at it, but is clearly hurt. Faster, pussycat! Kill! Kill!