Renee works her second job as a singer at The Bar. She sings "Nightlife" while Ally and Michael dance. Mark dances with Cindy. John dances with braless Elaine until Nelle walks up and rudely drags her away. Nelle asks Elaine to go to the relationship guru's workshop the next day. Elaine asks why Nelle doesn't enroll in it herself. "Elaine, if I showed up saying it was hard for me to hold on to a man, don't you think she'd be a tad suspicious?" Instead of saying, "Look, Nelle, just because I'm part of the support staff, that doesn't mean you can talk to me like that," Elaine just smiles. Nelle rephrases, saying they really need Elaine to go to the seminar and take notes for the case. Elaine agrees after Nelle says "please." They turn to watch Ally and her date. "Who's that old thing with Ally?" Nelle asks, as if she didn't date John all last season. The old thing spins around while Ally bites her knuckles and jitters like a junkie.
Michael walks Ally home. She and her voice-over suddenly notice "hardbodies" all around her. There are literally men walking shirtless on the street sets of Boston in autumn. I can't tell if Ally is supposed to have a hardbody, too, or if her thinbody somehow warrants her a date with one. I stop worrying about it when she says that she was in for something unexpected. I wonder what it could be? It must be something really shocking if it's bigger than Mark's plotline, right?
Vonda sings about "that boy" and "this boy" while Mark and Cindy dance some more. Cindy says that she's had relationships end abruptly. Mark promises that he isn't going anywhere. They dance and kiss as Richard and Ling watch AGAIN. Ling shoves a napkin into Richard's mouth. I can't tell if she wants him to stay quiet because she cares about Mark and Cindy's privacy, or if she's just waiting for gossip fodder.
Ally, Renee, Ling, Nelle, and Elaine are having another improbable slumber party. This time Elaine's in a tank top and bikini panties. Ally makes a comment about the slumber parties being a weekly affair, and she says they're no longer necessary to cheer her up. Oh, but why waste such a good, not-at-all-contrived plot device? The women talk about their opinions of and experiences with older men. Elaine had a man die of a heart attack in bed with her once. Good for her. She nuzzles against Ally for no reason at all. She and Nelle talk about Wanda Spickett's case. It's decided that the two of them and Ling will all attend the seminar. The topic changes, and Renee asks about Ling's secret for keeping Richard. "Tell us, please!" the girls whine, huddling together at the head of Ally's bed. All five of them are literally in Ally's bed, rubbing together in their flimsy nightwear. That really does happen all the time, you know. I mean, it doesn't happen to me, because I'm fat, and the thin chicks I know only want to play Lipstick Lesbian Slumber Party with other thin chicks. But I also have large breasts, so sometimes I wear a tight red top and speak in a baby voice and my thin friends let me watch and make sassy comments. The Ally McBeal writers have us pegged, all right. We women love to touch each other's bodies and talk about penises. Ling confides that she tapes hundred-dollar bills to her "privates" and wears them all day long. Then at night her naked body smells like money and it drives Richard wild. Elaine and Nelle smile, and Renee and Ally grimace. Enough talk. Let's see the lesbianism! Oh, but the scene ends, instead. That's all right. We all know what happened after that, don't we?