Ally McBeal
Two's A Crowd

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You'll never believe this, but...

In a pink room decorated with lots of pampas plumes, Nelle, Ling, and Elaine attend the "How to Satisfy a Man" seminar. They listen to the "guru," played by Florence Henderson, talk about how boys were breastfed and pampered as children. That's why they need pampering now, she says. Okay, I'm not going to get all into how stupid her seminar is, because it's obviously just a satire, but I do have to point out that girl infants are breastfed and pampered, too. Ling says she's taping the doctor's speech. She and Elaine are wearing ugly retro-print polyester blouses. Elaine's is open to her sternum. I guess the art director wanted to create an interesting juxtaposition between them and Carol Brady. Or maybe they wanted to remind us to see Charlie's Angels this week. In this scene, Nelle could pass for Cameron Diaz and Elaine's hair looks like that of Drew Barrymore. Florence goes on and on about how women fail at home because they want autonomy. She sings some stupid song that goes, "Make him your reason for living, give him all the love you can give him..." I guess it's a real song because most of the women in the room, including Elaine, sway and sing along. I've never heard it because my parents didn't let me listen to propaganda in the '70s. Florence walks into the audience and sings right to Nelle, who drags her cohorts from the room.

In the Unisex, Renee and Ally rudely gossip with each other through their stalls while Cindy spends several years washing her hands. What is Cindy doing in the Unisex in the middle of the day? Her case is over. Why is she there? Maybe she was in the neighborhood and she wanted Mark to see her sassy polka-dotted georgette blouse. At the sinks, Renee tries to convince Ally that it's okay to date two guys at once and to lie to them, too. She's saying that dating is about lying in order to get a second date. She turns to Cindy for support. Renee's told guys that she's still a virgin and that she's "never even seen a peppermint stick." Cindy gets all mad, assuming that Renee knows her secret. She runs off with Ally on her heels.

Ally drags Cindy into her office and assures her that Renee doesn't know her secret. Cindy is outraged by Richard's lack of ethics, since he obviously told Ally. Ally advises Cindy to tell Mark the truth. Cindy says, "I didn't ask you what you think, Ms. McBeal. And forgive me, but public opinion has never been a big influence in my life." Ally says that Mark's in love with Cindy, that everyone can see it. Cindy looks all bittersweet sad, yet hopeful.

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Ally McBeal

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