Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: F | 1 USERS: F
Accept It: This Show Sucks

Dame Edna has a tray of hot dogs in front of her. She's happy about this. Hey, I wouldn't complain. She offers one to Richard. He suggests they settle the case for fifty grand. No, because Dame Edna made a promise to herself, that she would live with dignity. She chomps on a hot dog for emphasis. She never harassed anyone! Corretta looks grossed out. Me? I want a hot dog. Corretta asks why Dame Edna is so attached to this workplace. It's because they "accepted" her: "It's not an easy thing to find, acceptance." Yeah, but they canned you. And three more witnesses plan to testify that Dame Edna harassed them. You call that acceptance? Well, do ya? Dame Edna looks at her hot dog sadly, and so does the music. It's the Music of Looking at Hot Dogs Sadly. I love that song!

Maddie asks Ally for a sleepover. Obi-Wan Bon Jovi approves the plan! Ally is sarcastically glad that Obi-Wan Bon Jovi approves. And, Maddie broke up with some guy we never heard of before. Because he "wanted to have sex." Ally does a massive spit-take with O.J. Maddie means, "Just kiss." And she's never kissed a boy before. And she doesn't want to. Can Ally show her how to kiss? In time for the slumber party tonight? Ally says Maddie is only ten, for the tenth time. Yeah.

Nelle and Ling asks Elaine to help them with their lip-synching duet scheme. Elaine will be singing offstage with "another person," supplying the voices for Ling and Nelle. Elaine explains to them that "everyone in the bar knows [her] voice. They go home with it playing in their heads!" I love Elaine. Nelle and Ling take a beat to let this factoid sink in, then says that the nature of bars (bad sound systems, people making noise) will cause people to be fooled. Oh, we'll see about THAT, won't we? We will. Oh, damn.

Some dude is testifying that Dame Edna harassed him by singing a Captain and Tennille lyric to him. He reads flatly that Dame Edna said, "Do that to me one more time, I could never get enough of a man like you." He does not add, "Whooo-oooa!" Richard steps up and says the guy is attractive. The guy is all, "Thank you?" Have any other women hit on this guy? Yes. Even a fifty-nine-year-old woman? Yes. And did he ever complain about them? No. Because they were attractive, and Dame Edna? Is not. So, this case will be won not because sexual harassment is wrong, but because it was only brought up as harassment because the harrasser wasn't deemed attractive enough to make said harassment enjoyable for the target of harassment. WHAT. EVER!

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Ally McBeal




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