Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: F | 1 USERS: F
Accept It: This Show Sucks

Tilty aerial shots of Boston, woo! Nelle lip-synchs, and her singer-lady is losing her voice. She apologizes, but Nelle snaps at her, "You aren't going to do that tonight, are you?" Um, she will NOW, I bet.

Ally's office. Ally is bossing Corretta around. She's doing good work, but could be doing better. Like, she needs to bring in more clients. Or, some clients. Corretta suggests seeking them at night. Ally says she wants Corretta "to have a life," so she should look for clients "during lunch." Like, maybe the guy who makes sandwiches needs counsel. Corretta seems okay with this. I thought if associates didn't bring in clients, they were canned. Whatever. Nelle enters, then says she'll be "performing at the bar" tonight. I like her use of the word "performing." Ally is all, "Reeeally?" Please don't let this backfire, and have Nelle be humiliated. Oh, I don't care.

Closing arguments for Dame Edna's case don't look too good for the purple-haired one. Apparently, tons of people have testified to the "leers and innuendo" and shit. "The woman is a predator, a sexual menace." Aww! Richard steps up and says "there's a double standard in this country" that dictates if the gesture is welcome, it's "flirting," and if not, it's harassment. And they're "here because of the way" Dame Edna looks, which is "discrimination." Because what she did wasn't wrong, but it's wrong for the people to say her advances were unwelcome. My head just exploded. Albert Hall says it's "the duty" of employers to report unwanted advances in the workplace, and he finds for the employers. Bang goes the gavel. Dame Edna thanks Richard and Corretta for trying and for Richard's "lovely words." There's a weird shot when Dame Edna is talking and Corretta is staring at Richard, like she's cheating into the camera. Richard then says he will HIRE Dame Edna, since he needs a good assistant. If he had had one before, maybe he "wouldn't be in the mess" he's in. Corretta asks if she can kiss Richard. Can Dame Edna kiss him, too? They settle for group hug. Oh, I hate this show.

Aerial shot of Boston at night, drink. Woo, it's tilty! We land at the bar, where Vonda is singing "Avenue A." Elaine is yelling at Nelle's "voice," because she's gone hoarse from practicing all day. And Ling and Nelle go on in ten minutes! Dame Edna comes up, says she'll soon be Elaine's co-worker, and that SHE can sing. And "I'm a Woman" is her THEME song, don't you know! Oh, crap.

Wow, Madonna! It's "Like a Virgin," blasting at the slumber party. I can guess that "Maddie" is supposed to be a shout-out to Madonna, since having children changed her so, and that's what Maddie is doing for Ally. Anyway, the kids line dance and giggle as Ally and JBJ watch happily from the doorway. Ally asks if it would be cool to "jump in with them." JBJ says, "Very uncool." Word -- it's uncool that they're even standing in the room. They leave, and Ally asks if it's okay that she go to the bar to watch Nelle sing. JBJ is okay with that. When is he not okay?

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Ally McBeal




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