Once again with the white-on-black titles. Then this pretty dark-haired girl is walking down some steps with huge bunch of balloons, many of which have charming little messages on them like "I Love You" and crap like that. So the girl approaches a car and Mouth is driving and the girl tries to shove the balloons into the back seat, and I'm thinking maybe they're on their way to some party or something. But then we're in somebody's living room and the girl is on a sofa and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD MOUTH IS KISSING HER. ON THE LIPS. HARD. Can it be? Is it possible? Does Mouth actually have a girlfriend? I think I may be sick.

Then, in what has definitely become a tradition, Mouth (okay, Hank4 has demanded I use his new-fangled nickname for Mouth -- heretofore Mouth shall be known as Puck Lite) kicks off the show with a video diary entry. The aforementioned balloons are drifting around in front of his face. "See these balloons?" says Puck Lite. "Well they're from Salima, my girlfriend." Oh God. Puck Lite goes on to say that he thought it would be cute if he kept the balloons in his room, and that he tied them down but they drifted over to him anyway, probably because Puck Lite has such a magnetic personality or something. He then says that he woke up in the middle of the night and saw these three floating objects in the room and thought that aliens had come to give him an "anal rectal exam." I wish.

After our favorite edgy credit sequence, I recoil in horror at the sight of Puck Lite reclining on a bed, wearing scary Walgreen's-type sunglasses as he uses his "porn-star" voice to say, "Hi. I'm Morgan." Ew. Then a few of the kids get a chance to put their two cents in on various subjects, but the general theme seems to be that of "making your mark on this world" or "dreams are what you make of them." I can't really get why this episode is called "Boogie Nights" from the little video snippets. All I know is that Kaytee thinks she "could die tomorrow," and that Brad is "pretty ambitious" and he likes to grind against girls in discos or something, and that Suzy wears really bad dresses and wants to be an opera singer.

Then we're in someone's rec room (I know it's a rec room because Brad's sitting on a pool table, and there's a pinball machine in the corner, and it looks like you have to go upstairs to get to the outside world -- wait, maybe it's that bar I was in last night), watching as Brad and some of his friends sort of dance around to some jammin' tunes. Brad says that there's this dance show that HPHS puts on every year and it's a pretty big deal, and he decided to choreograph a dance with some of his buddies. Brad loves dancing because he can be free and he can be who he wants to be, and there are people around him who are diggin' his righteous moves and "eating it up." Good evening, Brad. How about a piece of humble pie with that ego entree?

Brad and his small band of merry Macarenas troop over to the school for the audition, and the girl that I have come to call "Princess Ballbuster" says that she feels like she's going to an audition that's going to affect the rest of her senior year. Yes. Yes, it will, Your Highness. And not in a good way. Or is it considered "good" that all of the kids you find to dance in your little free-for-all will come to revile you before the school year comes to a close?

1 2 3 4 5 6Next