Later that day, Robby and Sarah are walking along in the rain toward Ravinia. Robby leans over and whispers "I love you" in Sarah's ear. "That's a secret I've been wanting to tell you," he whispers. There are some women out there that appreciate those little cutesy-bootsie kind of moments. I am not one of those women. That shit just freaks me out. Not to mention that it totally annoys me. Show me, dude. Don't tell me. Sarah digs it, though, and kisses him on his shoulder to prove it. Yuck.
Allie, shocker, is late. The fact that Brett arrives at the same late moment as Allie signifies to Allie that she and Brett are, like, soulmates or something. No, Allie, you're both incapable of telling time. If that makes you, like, soulmates, well, then, Hank4 and I are destined to spend the rest of our lives together and Wedge and I are completely unsuitable for each other. So, there goes that theory.
Scooter's driving along -- wearing his gown, by the way, which makes him look like a complete moron; like, BRING THE GOWN, SCOOTER, DON'T WEAR IT. He's such a nudge. Anyway, he's talking about school being over and how they're all moving on and going into the real world and becoming adults. As he says this, of course, he's chasing Kaytee into the amphitheatre like a baboon. Don't count on becoming an adult any time soon, Scooter. He puts his arm around Kaytee's shoulder and they walk together onto the stage where, I guess, they're both performing or something. They're kinda cute together. I think Kaytee can, and will, do better than Scooter, but right now they're still kinda cute.
Kaytee appears on-camera for a quick self-interview and talks about how people think she's matured a lot through high school, but she doesn't think she has. "I just got a new hairdo," she states. "I'm still just a kid." Have I told you lately that I love her? No, not in THAT way. I just wanna go shoot pool with her or something. She's hella-cool.
Time for some of that down-home pomp and circumstance. The kids all walk down the aisles, and I notice that not only do these kids get to have their graduation at fucking RAVINIA, but they have far better gowns than we did. Dude. Ours were FLAMMABLE. Dammit. CrAbby's on screen for a self-interview. Shut up, CrAbby. "You're only a kid once," she says. Did I say shut up? I see that I did. Still. SHUT UP.
The ceremony begins with the chorus singing their rendition of "Bridge Over Troubled Water." We cut to Morgan, brooding in his room. He hears a noise upstairs and calls out for his dad. No answer. Duncan. No answer. Duncan, again. No answer. He gets up and goes into his parents' room and his mom is there, sort of just staring at the bed. She looks at him for a second and then walks out of the room. "I'm still graduating!" shouts Morgan, looking after her. Yeah, and you don't have to wear a stupid hat with a tassel and walk across a stage in order to do so, either.