The kids continue crossing the stage. Brad, Brett, wait -- is that Teddy the Tard? Ew. And here's where it looks like the producers are dipping into the B-M pool again, because they show a cut shot of Kaytee looking pathetic right after Tard crosses the stage. The hell? Did that really happen? You can't tell me that the camera guys were so on top of it that, when Tard crossed the stage, they had a camera in place to capture Kaytee's reaction. Right. Let's assume that her "reaction" wasn't a "reaction" at all but just an innocent facial expression that had nothing to do with Tard. Or maybe she had a bean burrito for lunch, and she has to cut the cheese but doesn't want to do it while she's onstage in front of everyone, and therefore she's holding it in and it's giving her a pained expression. Maybe that's it.

And here's the part where Pablo tries to graduate with "dignity and honor" by ditching his cap in favor of a laurel wreath. Yeah, it's dumb. Doesn't matter how ridiculous it is, or how lame he looks -- the teachers aren't letting him walk across the stage wearing it. They actually surround him and force him to take the laurel wreath off because they're all under the misguided impression that Pablo's trying to play some sort of joke. Come on. What does it matter what's on his head? It's a silly, inane gesture, and it's making him REALLY upset that you're not letting him do this. He thinks this little wreath is going to announce to the world that he's HIMSELF and no one else. Yeah, he's delusional. Yeah, he's gonna look hilarious. But let him do it -- it's no reflection on the school. It's a reflection of what a tool Pablo sometimes is.

Back at Misery Mansion, Morgan's mom waxes philosophical with an allegory that equates kids and their failures with "creatures" and "falling." No, I don't know what she's talking about. Let's just assume that she's disappointed in Morgan. Like he cares. He's upstairs lighting candles and contemplating his navel.

Graduation Gulch. The kids did it. They're all done. They're all hugging each other. Allie and her mother hug. Allie and her father hug. Kaytee and Scooter hug. Morgan and his mother hug. No, they're not at graduation. We've just cut to them hugging in Morgan's room. Moms is begging Morgan to come to dinner with them. One minute she's Angst-Ridden Annie down in the kitchen, and the next she's pleading with her son to join them? Yet another editing coup from the makers of American High. Morgan rants on and on about how he's not going out to dinner with them because of this, that, and the other thing, and that he did something stupid and he got caught and blah-dee-blah-dee-blah. "This isn't about that," says Moms, wondering if she should poke her son with a knitting needle and then remembering that she doesn't knit and wondering if a dull knife will do. "This is about dinner."