American High
Finale

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Erin: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Can I graduate?

The kids walk through the halls with their yearbooks, looking for people to sign them. Roadster and Saran-Wrap walk through the parking lot, talking about graduation. "I think Robby's and my relationship is probably one of the most mature, like, relationships in the high school," she says, as an arty montage of pictures of the two of them plays across the screen. She goes on to say how there's two of them but how they're one but they're still two and how he's going to go off to college and be one and she's going to be back at the high school being one and GOD! Shut up, Saran-Wrap! You don't have a "mature" relationship! You have a HIGH-SCHOOL relationship! It's not all that special. And I hope you realize that now. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that you DO realize that now. There's no such thing as a "mature" high-school relationship. And we don't need a judge's ruling on this. You're not mature enough in high school to deal with rent, responsibility, 401Ks, health insurance, or mortgages. You're only mature enough to deal with getting into college. That's it. Everything else comes later. So the idea of having a "mature" relationship in high school is pretty much a figment of your imagination. Deal.

And then we're on to the "drama" portion of the show, wherein Roadster and Saran-Wrap basically put on a skit that involves them talking about the future. As students and audience members gather for the performance, Saran talks about how she's been through a lot of shit in her life, and that as much as she wants to believe that it was all Robby who magically made her this person, she has just begun to realize that she did that for herself. "It was my thoughts and my actions that made me who I am today," says Saran-Wrap.

And here's the part where "Saran-Wrap" will now be referred to as "Sarah." Because, quite frankly, it was her portrayal as the clingy, whiny, girlfriend that prompted me to refer to her as "Saran-Wrap." And now that she's finally realized that Robby isn't the end-all be-all of human existence, she deserves to be called by her proper name. I warned you that I was going to wind up loving each and every one of these goddamn kids, didn't I?

So, Robby and Sarah perform this little skit that I will absolutely NOT put down in print. It's not terrible. It's not incredible. It's high school. In a VO, Roadster talks about how Sarah has grown up and how she was raised with a lot of love from her mother and a lot of bad shit from her father and how she has some sadness there. Roadster goes on to talk about how kids with problems often grow up to have problems in their adult lives, but that Sarah isn't going to be that kind of person. "I have faith that she's gonna grow up and she's gonna prove the cycle of life wrong and not continue this repeated cycle like most people continue," he says in an interview. "She's gonna fight it. Be strong."

It would appear that Robby (yes, his name, in this recap, will now be "Robby" -- and shut up, because he, with that last statement, just earned the right to be called by his given name) and Sarah have almost come to a mutual meeting of the minds in regard to their relationship. She's grown. He's grown. They're separating. They're both going to go on and become very interesting adult-type-people. And I am DIGGING this about the two of them. So maybe Sarah's statement about a "mature, like, relationship" isn't so far off. They both realize that long-distance relationships don't work, and they're both going to move on. Wicked. I mean, WICKED. That is SO cool. God. Why weren't there more Robby-types around when I was in high school?

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American High

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