Drake Hotel/Wedding of Potential Doom and Destruction. Allie and her brother (!) hang out in the hotel prior to the sham event. Where are all of these miraculous brothers coming from? First Kaytee, and now Allie? Do they hold them in reserve for extra-special difficult and awkward moments? Are they, like, kept in storage? I wouldn't mind that, actually. I could just keep my fictional brother Henry down in my storage locker next to the washer and dryer, and pull him out only when I need him to kick Hank4's ass or help me install my air conditioner. That would rule. ["Dude, you should start a business. Brothersforrent.com or something." -- Sars]

"It's hard for my mom," says Allie. "She sees that my dad's just so happy and she's struggling and she knows that he is the one who did something wrong and she wasn't..." Of course he's happy. He got a mistress. He got a divorce. He's getting married. He's got both his kids there. What does her mother have? An apartment in Fort Sheridan, too much eyeliner, and a daughter and son who deem it okay to attend their cheating father's wedding? She got the short end of the stick in this situation. I'd be struggling too. I'd be struggling not to hire a professional hit man to take that fucker down.

As the sham proceeds, Allie tells us that her parents were a bona-fide love story, and that her father always told her how wonderful her mother was. Allie cries as she watches the sham continue. Oh, no. The vows. "To love and to cherish," repeats Father Fickle, "until death do us part." Hey, new Mrs. Father Fickle? I'd pay close attention here to that whole "until death do us part" portion of the vows. Is Allie's mother still breathing? Does she have a pulse? Yeah, and yeah, and you will too when this philandering fuckhead leaves you, sweetie. Watch your back.

"It hurt me tremendously that they went," says Allie's mother. "For them to be there, to accept that, was real hard for me." As Allie and her father dance at the reception, she tells us, "I'm so sick and tired of having to, like, fight. I don't think she was really moving on because it's too hard for her." Or because her ex-husband's a fuckwick.

"I leave my house," says Morgan after the non-commercial, "and nothing's the same. I have hamsters one minute and the next minute they're gone. Stuff never ceases in that house." Morgan then enters his house and calls out to his dad, inquiring about Earl the Cat. In the study, Pops quietly informs Morgan that his mother stuck around that morning and eventually called the vet, and that Earl has "gone off to the happy hunting ground." Now, I now he's not trying to be cruel here, but that little "happy hunting ground" comment could have been excluded from his announcement, don't you think? "What?" Morgan says softly. "He's gone," says his father. Morgan wants to know where he was put to sleep and why, and his father tells him that Earl was really old and really sick and he wasn't going to get any better. "You gonna be okay?" Morgan asks. "I'm okay," says Pops. "I was really sad earlier but, uh, I've been down this road several times before. That's the trouble with outliving your pets. So my suggestion to you and Duncan is give all the other guys an extra pet today in honor of old Earl." Morgan then wants to know how the vet put him down. His dad explains it. "Are you okay with it?" he wants to know. "There's not much I can do, is there?" Morgan morosely responds. "No, there's nothing you can do about it except have a good thought." Then Morgan's lying on his bed with Mama Hamster.