You know, I realize that I make all sorts of bickering comments about these kids and this show and I know it's all funny and stuff, but I can't really say a damn thing right now. This entire scene has me all farklempt. I'm thinking about Samantha, my Lab; Tijuana, my stray; Flutters, my parakeet; Babe, my hamster. I'm thinking about how I can't even keep a houseplant alive anymore. I can't even get a fish because, you know, they're so not cuddly and they don't sit on the sofa with you and they don't wag their tails when you come home and, oh god, I think I need a Xanax.

Koffeehouse Kaytee's Homestead of Unhappiness. Kaytee walks up to the stairs and lies down on them on her belly. "Are you gonna go?" says Kaytee to her mother, who is apparently so embroiled in reorganizing her love bead collection that she doesn't hear her daughter. "Mom?" Kaytee asks, trying to break through the purple haze. "Tonight?" her mother dippily asks. Yes, tonight, you frizzy-haired fruitnut. Remember? The whole coffeehouse gig? WAKE UP AND SMELL THE MILLENNIUM.