Homage to Blair Witch again...please make it stop...
Okay, is it written into Puck Lite's contract somewhere that he starts every damn show? He's totally the star, here. Anyway, Mama Puck Lite is snarking at Puck Lite about failing gym. "How can you fail gym?" she says. "You have to die to fail gym. You have to break both legs. Gym! That's like failing lunch." Puck Lite snaps back, "I'm good at lunch. I'm at level one lunch." Heh. Heh heh. Mama says she doesn't have to do anything but stand there and make tuna, because Papa Puck Lite is going to kill him. Then Puck Lite is doing his video diary. "If we're ditching classes, we know we're gonna fail. We shouldn't have somebody rubbing it in our face...you think we're stupid?"
I love him.
Thirty seconds of edgy intro later...
Robby, Anna, Allie, and Kaytee and some of the other kids all go off in their video diaries about how school sucks and how they hate it and how they all feel pressure to not fail. Hence this episode's title, I guess.
This is our first meeting with Allie, resident Grateful Dead lover and so far the single smoker on the show. Allie tells us that she is just returning to Highland Park from an extended self-made school hiatus. Allie's parents are getting a divorce and she lets it get to her, and it apparently makes her want to ditch school a whole hell of a lot. Within ten seconds of our introduction to Allie, she gets called to the principal's office, ostensibly because of her "elective" attitude toward attendance, but really I think it's because she's wearing tie-dye and it's, I dunno, THE YEAR 2000!
Then Allie's fighting with her mother on the phone, and she really looks exhausted. In a voice-over, Allie says that her mother pretty much lost everything and that they're going to have to sell their house and move into an apartment. I don't blame Allie for ditching school. I'd ditch it too. And probably start drinking heavily by the train tracks.
Allie tries to pull the old "I wrote the paper, but my dad's computer ate it" trick on her teacher. He's so not buying it, but he lets her off, probably because she looks like a forty-five-year-old divorcee with a heroin habit. Puck Lite is in class with her, and he's scrawling on a piece of paper "I love Salima," and Salima's there too, spreading her Puck Lite-love on the chalkboard. Puck Lite says that everyone tells them that "this is just puppy love." But Puck Lite believes that Salima is the best person for him and that he doesn't want to lose that. Awwwwww...gack.
Salima and Puck Lite then share all of their little love tchotchkes with us, and before I can barf up my Top Ramen, Puck Lite is doing his video diary and saying, "There's a lot of girls out there who make the mistake of going out with you in high school. And if they make that mistake, you better give them every reason to love you." Did that just come out of Puck Lite's mouth? Wow.