American High
Promises, Prom Misses

Episode Report Card
Erin: A+ | Grade It Now!
It's Called "Prom," Not "Nirvana."

Except for Morgan. "Oh my God, these shoes are too small," says Morgan, backward baseball cap intact. "Two of these are cufflinks," says Papa Morgan. "Put that in your sleeve and this in your sleeve." Awww. Daddy helping the Morgan to get ready. Awww. Papa Morgan asks, "You said they gave you suspenders?" "I'm not fucking wearing that," shouts Morgan as Papa Morgan pulls forth the cummerbund. "Yeah, you are fucking wearing your cummerbund," says Papa Morgan. "Can you stand still for just one minute, Morgan?" "Did you just grab my ass?" says Morgan. Hee. Okay, so, Morgan apparently decides that the monkey suit is not, for him, disrobes, and runs through the house in his boxers. "So we got him all dressed and then he took his clothes off," says Papa Morgan. "Just like when he was four."

Ack. Ow. Okay. I need to lie down now. It's 12:11 in the morning and I've been recapping this bloody episode since 7:30 PM. NAP TIME.

Awww, shit. Morgan's talking about his prom date. He met this "Jade" last year and they kind of hit it off, sort of, and then they were talking about prom and, one week later, Jade gave Morgan a ride home and he's all, "Do you wanna go?" And she's all, "You're supposed to be romantic about it." And Morgan's all, "DUDE! I had a girlfriend! A beautiful, lovely girlfriend! But she can't go with me! SHUT UP AND SAY YES!" Apparently, this wins her over because Morgan shows up at her house She's...okay. I'm not going to be mean here but, God! She's nothing compared to Salima. I mean, REALLY! Morgan. Dude. Better not to go to prom at all than to go with that. Morgan shoves a corsage on her wrist as she goes to put a boutonnière on him. Morgan says, "Whatever you do, don't kiss me." Way to make a girl feel the full beauty of her prom experience, M. I mean...she ain't Salima but...DUDE.

Meanwhile, Salima's at home, telling us in a voice-over that she was willing to go with Morgan, against her parent's wishes, just so that Morgan could go to his senior prom. "And I was willing to face the consequences," she says, "which would probably mean getting kicked out of the house. He didn't realize that." Oh. Really? I've got a novel idea, Salima. TELL HIM. Jesus. He's a GUY. They don't know what in the hell you're talking about until you TELL THEM. Trust me. You should have told him what you were willing to do. My God. You're staying home alone tonight because you DIDN'T TELL HIM WHAT YOU WERE WILLING TO DO?! Shut up, Salima. Just shut up. Just curl up on your bed and wonder what it would have been like if you had SPOKEN.

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American High




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