American High
Promises, Prom Misses

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Erin: A+ | Grade It Now!
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It's Called "Prom," Not "Nirvana."

Morgan Motor Vehicle. In a voice-over, Morgan says, "I get a phone call from Salima saying, 'My parents said I can't go to Prom.'" Salima's sitting in the passenger seat, pouting. "We just won't go, it's fine," she says. "No. We gotta go," says Morgan. "No, we don't," says Salima. Morgan goes on to tell us in a voice-over that Prom was his promise to himself that he would go to one school dance. "Sorry I fucked up the plans, okay?" Salima says sulkily. "It's just...it's not my fault." As they drive along Route 41, Morgan speeds up, and Salima asks him to slow down because she's feeling nauseous. So am I. But it's not the driving that's causing my stomach to churn. Goddamn vodka.

At a picnic table outside of the school, obviously on some other day, Salima says to her friends, "I have a breakup story for you. I broke up with Morgan." There's a lot of conversation about this, none of which I can understand. It's a lot of "pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP, talk a lot, pick a little more." And if you don't know what I'm referring to, then you should all go out and see The Music Man and leave me the hell alone.

Elsewhere at the school, Morgan's confiding in his very own non-sexual girlfriend. "I'm not goin' to Prom because of her," Morgan says. His non-sexual girlfriend says that there are plenty of girl-fish in the high-school-prom sea. Morgan protests that he's not gonna go to Prom with some other chick after breaking up with his girlfriend of one year. Morgan thinks about all the things he wanted to do with Salima, but never got to do.

Meanwhile, Salima yammers at her girlfriends that she never planned to have a boyfriend in high school. The girlfriends yammer at her about planning and boyfriends and falling in love. "What's going on right now," says Salima, "these are all the reasons I didn't want a boyfriend." She tells us in a voice-over that she's just going to take it day by day and she's not going to be depressed. Of course, it's hard not to get depressed when you open your locker and it's riddled with pictures of Morgan in a tiger suit. Either because it's depressing not to be with him or just depressing to see him in a tiger suit.

In his room, Morgan's listening to music to slit your wrists by, as he tells us in a voice-over that he's had a week of being pissed off, a week of not sleeping, and a week of devoting himself to this one thing. He traces Salima's name in the dust on his TV screen as he tells us, "My only drawback with Salima was, I could never find anyone better. And, to this day, I don't know if I could find anyone better. That's the hardest part about breaking up with her. She wasn't just some common girl. She molded me and I molded her." I'd like to state, right now, for the record, that I adore Morgan. Unequivocally. And I can't wait for him to grow up and become the man I always knew he could be.

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American High

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