American High

Episode Report Card
Erin: B | 525 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
You gotta fight! For your right! To, uh...

Ready for more heartbreak? Come on over. Kaytee's on the phone with Tard, asking him why he's such a jerk. We hear nothing from his end (although I bet every word was monosyllabic), but Kaytee keeps saying, "Why? Why?" In a voice-over, Kaytee tells us that she told Tard that she loved him. Oh, God. And, because she knew she was dealing with a "special case," she couldn't just come out and say, "I love you," but had to sandwich it in between a couple of other sentences. She deems this as having "worked," but her facial expressions tell the truth: he doesn't love her back.

Meanwhile, Tard's in his car, wondering why it's not moving. DOH! I forgot to start it...hyuck hyuck. "I think cuz she's just so overly energetic, about everything that she does," he says in a voice that belongs to every dumbass stoner character you've ever seen. "Which, at times it could be good, but, at other times, not so good." But, you know, other times, it could be kinda good, but not so good, but, sorta maybe good. But, then, like, it would be bad if it were, ya know, too good and, hey, dude, where's my car? Ohhhh...hyuck hyuck...I'm IN my car...hyuck hyuck. He is SO not worthy of you, Kaytee. Trust me on this.

In a cafe somewhere, Scooter's got his arm around a despondent-looking Kaytee as he says in a voice-over, "And, basically, he acted like this never happened. And...that's what really hurt her; the fact that he paid no attention to this big thing, her basically spilling out this huge bowl of emotions to him, which is this big thing to her, he just acted as though it was nothing. And that's how Teddy is." Yeah. Teddy's an asshole. Later, in Scooter's car, Kaytee's stretched out in the back, crying. Been there, done that. Times ten. Trust me, sister, it gets worse before it gets better. But it does get better. Eventually. Yes, I'm still waiting for that time. Shut up, Hank4. And bring me more vodka.

Okay, and now on to the part where I search for spiky things to stick in Pablo's eyes. He has to close up the Passion Pit for a month and a half (there is no reason given for this -- maybe they're having revolving magic-fingers beds and ceiling mirrors put in) so, logically, he's going to have a party. Even though, you know, Petty hates them and he'll probably get into a lot of trouble for having one. Dr. Pablo wanders the halls, obviously not concerned with, you know, classes of any sort, informing his fellow students that he's having a party on Friday. Petty, in an interview, says that she got pissed at him the last time he had a party, and that she didn't want anyone else in the house but him, and that Pablo swore that a party would never happen again. He must have meant "never" as in "never except for this Friday."

American High

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