After a little BK Double Broiler action, Pablo's talking about when he's going to dump a "Nicki" person. He doesn't think it's time to dump this person yet and asks Petty when she's going to dump a "Dan" person. THEY BOTH HAVE SIGNIFICANT OTHERS? I'm going to kill myself. I went through FOUR YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL WITHOUT A SINGLE DATE. Well, except for Scott Russwick, but he doesn't count because he was dumber than a curtain rod and had squishy eyes. Still. I didn't get asked to the goddamn prom but these two morose idiots have boyfriends/girlfriends. Bleah. Anyway, Pablo suggests that they should both dump their neo-goth arm candy. Petty laughingly suggests that they do it on a double date. She's funny, that Petty. Funny like a punctured lung. Pablo then states that they should dump their people, get married, and live miserably ever after. To punctuate his statement, Petty morbidly dumps her fries all over Pablo's outstretched hand as if they're the scattered contents of her soul and he, only he, is the keeper. GodDAMN I hate kids like this. They have families, homes, EXTRA homes, cars, money, their health, and what? WHAT? WHAT ARE THEY BITCHING ABOUT? What in the HELL do they have to be sullen and dark about? Yes, I realize they may have real problems and that I should just keep my caustic tongue tampered down, but, you know what? GET A JOB. GET A VIEWPOINT. READ A BOOK. THINK OF BOSNIA. THEN THANK WHATEVER POWER YOU BELIEVE IN THAT YOU'RE ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN HIGHLAND PARK. And then? Shut. Up.

Little mini-montage of various high-school couplings. Then Kaytee's back on-screen, telling us how much the high-school dating process sucks. Word. "I can't wait to get out of high school and live like a real person," she says, unaware that it doesn't change much, even when you're thirty-two and have been seeing the same person since last July but he still doesn't refer to you as his "girlfriend" because "traditional relationships" just don't work for him but this is the first time he's been "totally honest" with a girl and really, isn't that the most important thing and could you pass the chips when you get a chance?