The Good Doctor's not finding Sean's wacky band antics half as funny as I am, however. Scott eventually makes it back down to his room, gasp, TEN MINUTES AFTER CURFEW! The horror! His doorway is once again darkened by the Good Doctor. Sean once again tries some creative evasive maneuvers -- namely, shutting the door in the Good Doctor's face a few times. That's another good one, Sean! Whew! Stop. Please. I can't breathe.
Doctor Doolittle has a few choice words with Scott wherein it is established that Scott has screwed up, the Doctor is none too pleased, and he better get his drum-bashing ass into bed where it belongs. That Scooter. What a scamp.
Bahamas Booty Camp. Shanna's moaning about how she and Abalone are best friends but that now, here in the sun-soaked land of liquor, she feels like they're strangers. Yeah. Eight vats of daiquiris will make strangers of the bestest of friends. Funny how that is. Shanna declares that she had no interest in getting wasted and finding guys to hook up with. I think Shanna's actually thirty-two and just going on this trip to find material for her new exposé, High-School Sluts And The Friends They Leave Behind. Jen and Abalone sport their tans and their ability to smoke cigarettes without actually inhaling.
In some random disco, the high-schoolers get their fill of drinks, dancing, and date rape. "No one's respecting anyone, or their space," says Allie. "The guys just really want to hook up with girls right now." Right now? Right now, you say? Try ALWAYS. It don't just happen on spring break, girlfriend. It's just a hell of a lot more obvious.
The next morning, Jen and Abalone screech and cackle about the previous night's debauched activities as Abalone all but flashes us her endowments. Shanna's disgusted. "I question my friendships," she says. "It's a hard thing to realize, two months before you're supposed to graduate, the people you spent four of the most important years of your life with...if that is it." Abalone tries to excuse her friend-abandoning behavior by stating that she and Shanna are in different modes. Yeah. Shanna's in "I'd like to hang out with my friends in the Bahamas and actually remember it" mode, and Abalone's in "Where's my damn piña colada and the next penis?" mode.
The Land of Crouching Tigers and Hidden Dragons. Kaytee's got her guitar and she's singing. I mean, wait, she's just going, "I went to China. I'm in China." Okay. Kaytee? I'm all for your self-expression and your coffeehouse gigs and all but, um, STOP. Okay? Just stop. YOU'RE IN CHINA. Try to have a little decorum. I think they have people killed for singing stupid ditties like that in public. Halt. Cease. Desist. Knock it off.