American High
War & Pieces

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | Grade It Now!
Hey, Pablo. You made me cry. You still suck.

"What the hell do I do now?" he says. Ram your car directly into the side of the nearest Dairy Queen? That'd be my suggestion.

Reason #4 Why Pablo Is A Fucking Tool: Because it never occurred to him that his prior drug history might possibly enter into his qualification interview for the Marines. Dude. You do drugs. That's fine. I have no problem with that. Really. Do what you want. I, myself, am a HUGE proponent of alcohol. But don't think you can get a job (and the Marines ARE a job, no matter what anyone thinks) by being HONEST when they ask you questions about DRUGS. Lie. LIE. If you really WANTED the job, you would have LIED. Do I think Pueblo has more integrity because he DIDN'T lie? No. Do I think Pueblo didn't really want to join the Marines? Yes.

Okay, so now Morgan's being escorted down the hallway by a "security guard," and then he's sitting in the waiting room of the dean's office, I think, after telling us in a VO that he's received nothing good from school. "What happened in school today that I got this pissy message from --" his father says, at home, obviously the same day that Morgan was filmed being in the waiting room of the principal's office. "Nothing," says Morgan. "We were joking around and somebody made a comment and then I repeated the comment." Papa Morgan challenges Morgan's statement, and they argue about some shit that I can't really understand, because I haven't seen the actual incident that has precluded this discussion. All I know is that Morgan's in deep shit right now.

And now we're in Allie's car, with Allie, ew, while she's smoking a cig and attempting to navigate through traffic. Allie dials the car phone. She gets her mom. They decide to meet for dinner at Gianni's. Some chick music plays as Allie drives to her destination and walks up to the entrance of Gianni's.

Allie and her mother sit opposite each other as if they're opposing sides of a peace treaty committee. Guess what, ladies. This ain't Bosnia. And your problems aren't THAT big. Bring it down a notch, if you don't mind.

Allie tells her mother that it's hard to hear someone constantly going at her and never actually hearing her. "I hear you, Allie," says her mother. "That's not good enough, you saying 'I hear you,' that's supposed to make it all better?" Oh, shut UP, Allie. So, Allie feels that her mother puts Allie's feelings aside. Allie's mother thinks she doesn't. Do you want me to recap the entire frustrating conversation? You do? Too bad. It's so completely annoying that I can't. Never in my LIFE have I ever spoken to my mother in this fashion. Allie thinks that she's the center of the fucking universe and her mother is just there to cushion her fall, if, indeed, she ever does fall. Her mother, on the other hand, thinks her daughter is just there to help her through this "thing" she's going through. This is one fucked-up family unit, people. And I'm not expending my precious hours recapping it for everyone else to enjoy.

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American High




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