American Horror Story
Boy Parts

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 91 USERS: A
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How Marie Laveau Got Her Groove Back

Inside, I suspect, a somewhat colder room, we see a bunch of corpses whose clear body bags do not completely obscure the fact that they're mangled something fierce, and Madison enthusiastically observes the crash was even worse than she thought; to demonstrate, she unzips one to reveal Kyle's head and several pieces of his body in no particular order. I have to admit it's been a long time since I've seen an ad for seat belts, but this certainly qualifies. Madison is like, hey dead Kyle, you're kind of cute, and while Zoe just wants to get out of there, Madison gets a crafty look on her face as she tells Zoe she sees potential in this room. Yup, that's what's happening – if you didn't see the title, Madison hits it for you as she says they're going to take the best "boy parts" and attach them to Kyle's head, and boom – the perfect boyfriend. This is certainly the craziest scenario Ryan Murphy has come up with to get Evan Peters' clothes off so far, but I'm sure he's not out of ideas yet. Zoe asks if this is all a joke to Madison, but Madison is like, am I laughing? She then tells Zoe to find her a saw, and the offhand delivery and girly way she's holding her purse while delivering that line makes me laugh, at least.

Cordelia is getting an ultrasound, and she jokingly (but also nervously, I think) asks how her "oven" is. Here's the scenario: She's married to the guy next to her, Hank (played, as I mentioned in the recaplet, by a bearded Josh Hamilton), and she's been taking fairly invasive fertility drugs for the past year with no apparent positive effect. The doctor advances in vitro fertilization as another possibility, but Hank asks for a moment alone with Cordelia, and when the doctor's gone, Hank wonders if she really wants to put herself through this. Cordelia somewhat tellingly replies that she should be able to have a baby just like any other woman, so it's less of a surprise than it might be when Hank says that's not what he means – she has another option. Cordelia, however, thinks that if she starts using magic all the time she'll be just like her mother, and when Hank points out that they both really want a family, she taps into the episode's theme when she says that any magic dealing with life and death is dark, "and I don't want to play God." Hank points out that she's going to let their doctor play God instead, and I don't know what all this verbal sparring is about when it's pretty apparent the ritual she's considering isn't something God would want to touch with a ten-foot pole.

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American Horror Story

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