American Horror Story
Boy Parts

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 91 USERS: A
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How Marie Laveau Got Her Groove Back

Back in the present, Fiona diffidently says she's sorry for LaLaurie's loss, emphasizing just how awful she feels by taking a hearty bite of a chicken leg. Hee. She offers LaLaurie some, but LaLaurie, keeping her tear-stained face pointed away from Fiona, says she's not hungry. Lord, is that another curse of immortality?

Back in the morgue, we get a montage of the pieces of Kyle's body (wasn't that a Hole song?) being chosen and then sewn together, and easily the most surprising thing for me in this scene is that Madison is so good with a needle and thread. Then it seems to be time to begin the ritual as Madison says she needs a bowl and some hair from Kyle's head. Soon, all the ingredients are in place, and after Zoe sets fire to the contents of the bowl (although no flames are visible), Madison tells her to breathe in the smoke, as she does as well. They both look a little sick, but nothing happens for a few seconds – until suddenly they both drop to their knees as they cover their ears and scream in pain. This seems like more than even Madison was bargaining for, but she recovers to take a knife and cut Zoe's hand as she announces that blood is their sacrament. She dips her finger in said blood and draws a pentagram on Kyle's chest (and the lighting is dim now, so forgive me if I miss a detail or two) as she alternates between Latin and English in invoking "Azazel, the Lord of the Underworld." She offers him their devotion "until death sanctifies this unholy union," and obviously Cordelia had no idea what she was talking about when she said such spells involved darkness.

Flashes of light and mini-thunderclaps seem to signal that something is happening as Madison, joined by Zoe, continues calling what sound like fairly demonic names, and then Madison finally cries, "Return to the mortal coil! Arise!" And then – nothing. Hilariously, Madison picks up Kyle's arm and lets it fall limp back on the table; Zoe wonders if she said the spell correctly, but Madison is like, I'm an actor – I know my lines. It's funny, but it'd be easier to take her seriously if we hadn't seen how terrible she is at hitting her marks; nevertheless, Zoe decides that they just must not be powerful enough. Not one to linger at the scene of a defeat, Madison makes for the door, but Zoe says she's just going to look around for her phone, so Madison tells her to hurry. When she's gone, Zoe approaches Kyle, while outside, Madison's just lighting a cigarette (can't blame her after the experience she just had, I guess) when a car appears behind her and she hops in her own ride with a "Tough luck, bitch." To be honest, I was surprised her gratitude went as far as it did.

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American Horror Story

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