American Horror Story
Burn, Witch. Burn!

Episode Report Card
Mindy Monez: A | 87 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The New Orleans Chainsaw Massacre

So, you can see why the presence of her undead daughters on her doorstep could take on an added layer of horror for Madame LaLaurie. Back in the present, she slams the door in her zombie daughters' faces, overcome with what looks like more sadness than fear. She backs up to Zoe, Nan and hot neighbor boy in the foyer and plainly states that hell has opened up on their doorstep. I'll say. Queenie has noticed the doorstep hell as well, and runs downstairs to see what's up. What's up is an army of zombies carrying assorted cutlery invading your front lawn. It's not great.

Back at the bar, Cordelia has run screaming out of the bathroom with a face full of acid. Fiona runs to her (in slow-mo!) and panicked, demands to see her face. When she pulls her hands away it… kind of doesn't look that bad, actually! Her eyes and forehead areas are rather sizzle-y, but her mouth parts look ok! Could be worse. Fiona also sees the hooded perpetrator slip out the back door, but she decides to stay with Cordelia instead of chasing said person down.

Fiona sits in the dingiest hospital waiting room in the world, losing her fucking mind. I must say, for Halloween night in a big city this hospital is rather quiet, but Fiona is sitting across from a drunk Dracula, so that's something. She pops a handful of pills just as the doctor shows up to fill her on in Fiona's condition, so this is going to be a fun night. He has bad news – Fiona was attacked with what appears to be sulfuric acid, and her optic nerve was burned through. She is blind. True to form, Fiona calls the doctor a piece of shit and starts punching him, but when an orderly steps in and asks the doctor if he should call the cops, doc mistakes Fiona for a harmless old lady suffering from bad news and says no. He doesn't know her like we do. Needless to say, Fiona is heartbroken over this news.

Back at the house, the zombie army is just swaying in place on the front lawn, but Nan knows they're dead because she can't hear them. Hot neighbor boy takes zero note of that statement, by the way. Zoe takes charge of the situation in Fiona's absence and begins closing the curtains, killing the lights (Queenie's hilariously like, "Umm, I think they know we're home?") and looking for a place to hide everybody. Hunky neighbor is still a resident of normaltown, so he tries to tell them that is obviously just a prank. Madame LaLaurie, on the other hand, parks herself on the couch and waits for the attack to come. Ugh, that's totally what I would do. First one to be eaten, right here!

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American Horror Story

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