American Horror Story
Burn, Witch. Burn!

Episode Report Card
Mindy Monez: A | 87 USERS: A
The New Orleans Chainsaw Massacre

Fortunately, Fiona has other plans for Queenie. She cups her face and begins telling her that she believes she's the next Supreme (she wipes her hands after, a nice, awful touch), and Queenie buys it, either under a Fiona spell or just looking to feel special. Queenie agrees to follow Fiona's instructions on the path to Supremehood and then Fiona kicks her out. I'm assuming Fiona's picked Queenie because Nan's kind of a hard sell, and Zoe actually is the Supreme, but to what end? Is her plan just to present Zoe with a different Supreme and hope she doesn't notice any of her new powers? If that's the case it's a pretty weak diversion.

Oh lord, Spalding's doll attic. He's prancing around in a pretty mint green chiffon housecoat and a bonnet, spraying air freshener everywhere. He removes a bunch of stuffed animals from the lid of a trunk and opens it to reveal Madison inside, stinking and rotting in a very demure pose. He reacts to the smell but quickly gets over it. He grabs her wrist and tries to pull her out, but after one tug her arm snaps off. Haha! Oh Spalding, you klutz.

Back at Myrtle's stake-burning scene, some wolves are helping themselves to a crispy witch snack, when MISTY FUCKING DAY saunters up in some perfectly slouchy vintage boots that have been haunting me all week. She kneels down to Myrtle's body and puts her hands on her face, closes her eyes and – OMG – brings her back to life. The makeup is fantastic – Myrtle is all red and black, the whites of her eyes a striking contrast. And I'm sure Fiona will agree with me next week. Fuck yes! Misty Day vs. Fiona! Now we're getting somewhere.

Next week: Marie hires a witch hunter! Cordelia buys a cane! The girls find a Ouija board! And there better be some more goddamn Misty Day, goddammit!

Mindy Monez is jealous of Misty Day's boots. Please tell her where to buy them @garnisheater.

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American Horror Story




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