American Horror Story
Go to Hell

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 73 USERS: A-
The Power Is Up for Grabs

Cut to the outside of the tomb, where Queenie asks Cordelia how they're going to get Misty out. "With a jackhammer if we have to," Cordelia answers. But it was just a rhetorical device to indicate her determination, because she stops Queenie from going to get a maintenance guy and reminds her of who she is. "When the rest of the world sees a wall, we see a window." Queenie stretches out a doubtful hand like Luke Skywalker trying to lift his X-wing out of the Dagobah swamps, and the brick facing on the above-ground tomb starts to crumble. Queenie makes a yanking motion, shattering the bricks and dragging the casket clear out of the mausoleum to land on the ground at their feet. She swings open the lid that Madison never even bothered to screw shut, and after seeing that Misty isn't breathing, she bends over her to perform Vitalum Vitalus. And after a long pause, Misty sits up gasping for air and probably wondering why we're not calling it Resurgence any more.

At Miss Robichaux's, Myrtle warns Madison about the deadly nightshade in a bouquet she's arranging. "I wouldn't sniff around unless you're looking for a bout of delirium." "Sounds like every Saturday night since I was fifteen," Madison says, and wonders aloud where everyone is. Myrtle says that Cordelia has regained her Sight and has gone on a little Misty-run with Queenie. "Apparently the poor girl has been entombed. Who would have been cruel enough to commit such an atrocity?" Myrtle wonders aloud with no curiosity whatsoever. Madison plays dumb, and for a movie star, she's a terrible actress. She claims to be worried they won't reach her in time; "I heard people die after three days without water." Well, right on cue, the door opens and in walks…Zoe and Kyle, actually. Myrtle quietly hopes this is an hallucination from her flowers. She thinks that instead of whiling away her days with her true love like she was supposed to, Zoe has forsaken her destiny, "like Halston when he sold his brand to J.C. Penney." Zoe insists that she embraced it. So does that mean it's dead now?

No, actually we move on to a flashback of her and Kyle in a suspiciously arboreal area of what is supposed to be Florida. "What better than the Sunshine State to cast the darkness out of her lives?" she narrates. Good thing we only hear her say that in voice-over, because nobody could deliver such a terrible line with a straight face. We see that they were sharing a little picnic under a tree, until a homeless guy came up and yelled at them to get out of his spot. Zoe got up, saying she was leaving, only to be told by the man, "You, don't talk to me! Don't talk to me!" Kyle, being far too much of a gentleman to allow this rudeness to his lady love go unanswered, chivalrously clubbed the man to the ground and broke his neck. In the present, Madison snarks at Zoe, "What a surprise. Your pit bull mauled somebody. Is that why you came back? Because you can't handle him?" Back to the flashback, in which Zoe also used Vitalum Vitalis, but to bring Kyle's fresh victim back to life. "I came back because I'm clearly the next Supreme," she declares. Oh, Zoe. I thought you of all people were immune to these endemic delusions of Supremacy. So disappointing. You know, bear with me here, but this season is a lot like Big Brother. You've got all these crazy people from all over the country stuck in a house together, each of them thinking they have a chance to be the big winner at the end. Alliances and objectives keep shifting inexplicably, as do the rules. And everyone wants to be Head of Household. The only difference is that evicted houseguests on Big Brother don't come back quite so often.

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American Horror Story




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