American Horror Story

Episode Report Card
Mindy Monez: A | 76 USERS: A

Marie takes Fiona and The Box to the back room, where Delphine's headless body is still standing upright in her cage, lazily swatting flies away from her gaping neck gore. Ha! Fiona's pretty grossed out, but she's all business today. Marie obviously doesn't want the head back. Fiona has no use for her anymore now that she can't cook or clean for her. Meanwhile, Kathy Bates's muffled cries of "What'd she say? I can't hear!" ring out from inside the box. Reminds me of my mother-in-law's annoying (and racist, actually!) parrot that screams bloody murder if you don't "include" it in your conversations by addressing it personally – with eye contact -- every few sentences. Parrots suck. Don't ever get one.

Fiona slaps the box and orders Delphine to shut-up. She's here to "talk terms," which rightly earns an uproarious laugh from Marie. She cannot, in fact, undo centuries of racial tension by walking up one day and suggesting they be friends. But Fiona isn't talking about reviving the truce, she's talking about partnering to fight the witch hunters. Who are men. That's not a minor detail. Delphine freaks: "You can't make a deal with a darkie!" Delphine, the last time you called someone a darkie you got your damn hand chopped off. When will your stupid old racist ass learn? Fiona knows Delphine is ruining her pitch, so she opens the box and stuffs a wad of newspaper in her mouth. Because sure, that'll work. As if that shit hasn't been top of Marie's mind for the past forevers.

Fiona calls her spat with Marie "petty quarrelling," which is pretty absurdly tone deaf to what Marie has gone through as a black woman in the South, but such is a certain corner of white privilege, I guess. Why can't black people just get over it! Their favorite thing to say.

Fiona shows Marie the silver bullet remnant, but being as she was the one who sent it, Marie plays it off as Fiona's problem, which she really has no reason to believe it isn't. Marie guts Fiona with a comment about how she knows she's wearing a wig, and, say, what kind of cancer does she have, anyway? Must be serious if she's so weak she needs Marie to protect her Coven for her. Fiona recovers and promises that once the witch hunters are done with Miss Robichaux's, they'll be gunning for Marie. Marie says she'll first pop the champagne, then she'll worry about that. And see, this is why Coen Brothers movies should be required viewing for all television characters. Never trust a gun for hire. They change their minds more often than you think!

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American Horror Story




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