American Horror Story

Episode Report Card
Mindy Monez: A | 76 USERS: A

Patti is touched and begins singing some religious song through tears. It's no "Ladies Who Lunch," but I'll take it. Haha, how hot would it be if she just busted out "What's New, Buenos Aires?" for no reason in this scene. I would DIE. She approaches Luke with the tenderness of a woman who has never even forced a tube of bleach up her kid's butt. What a transformation! She reaches out for Nan and they embrace, unlikely new best friends.

Speaking of unlikely best friends, Queenie has decided to stash Delphine's head in her room instead of burning it, of course. Delphine claims to be hungry, but Queenie points out that she no longer has a stomach. "What are you going to do? Shit it out of your neck?" Guys, I'm gonna be honest -- that line made me laugh so hard, I'm not kidding. And Kathy Bates's reaction face looks like she's really thinking hard about shitting a burger out of her neck. It's so perfect.

Queenie has a better agenda for the day than neck shits. It's movie night for Delphine! She needs some sensitivity training, so Queenie has propped her head in front of the TV and is going to force her to watch Roots (all eight hours of it), Roots: The Next Generation, Mandingo, The Color Purple, and even B.A.P.S.! Delphine begs for death, but Queenie refuses to let her leave this earth an ignorant racist. Seems like a lot to rehabilitate a horrible racist just to throw them in the fire pit at the end, but ok. Also, isn't Queenie a MILLENIAL? How the hell does she know about any of those movies? At any rate, Queenie leaves Delphine to enjoy the film festival. Delphine defiantly shuts her eyes and starts singing some old timey racist song at the top of her lungs.

Hank is enjoying some Chinese takeout in his dingy motel room, when suddenly his arm is pinned back and a sizeable wound is opened up on his wrist, the product of an invisible stabbing instrument. He's flung on the floor, where he is repeatedly slammed against the ground and then stabbed in the leg by the same invisible force. We see it's Marie behind the attack, playing with a voodoo doll Hank in her back room. A man forces his way into the room: "Marie Laveau sends her regards." She stabs him again, and then calls him to tell him she wants everyone in Miss Robichaux's dead tonight, or the next needle goes through his heart. Hank has a decision to make.

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American Horror Story




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