so Lana's book gets published, under the title "My Experiences at Briarcliff Manor: A Recollection of Events." Kind of dry, but okay. She's taken the manuscript to the cops in order to get them to do something about Briarcliff, particularly in light of all the unexplained disappearances there. (Pepper's photograph is shown amid this discussion of unexplained disappearances, but that could just refer to her abduction. Keep hope alive for Pepper!) The cops condescend to her and tell her not to upset herself in her condition. Her pregnancy is starting to show now, but she says THEY'RE the ones upsetting HER. Also, no show about the olden times would be complete without a shot of a pregnant lady smoking, and Lana's not about to make an exception. She tells the cops that if they got a court order to get her inside, Sister Jude could substantiate all of it. She tells them that Jude is being held against her will. What about Mother Claudia? The church shipped her off to Puerto Rico the second she started making noise. At this point, Lana is outright begging the cops to help her. "That's his baby, isn't it?" the younger cop asks her. "Bloody Face, he's the father?" Lana looks right back at them and says, "This baby doesn't have a father." Ice cold. The cop, impressed by her mettle, says, "You're one tough cookie." And having been served up such a softball, Lana can only do her part by crushing it: "I am tough... but I'm no cookie."

To Briarcliff! Lana storms into Monsignor Howard's office with the cops behind her, court order in hand. She demands to speak to Sister Jude, but as expected, Howard tells her that Sister Jude is dead. To her credit, Lana doesn't believe him. To her slightly less credit, she backs down once the Monsignor produces a death certificate. The show even gins up a "flashback" for us, of Howard walking in to find Judy hanging from the ceiling. As a representative of the audience, Mr. Murphy, we are not so easily fooled. Lana is incredulous that Howard had her cremated, but he gives some Catholic-sounding hoo-ha about dying outside a state of grace. Once again, his hands were tied! What could he do but abide by doctrine set out by Rome? Personally, he's devastated, but what could he do? Lana straight up accuses him of murdering Jude. "You might as well have tied the noose yourself." Howard tries to turn the tables on Lana, guilting her with the thought that if she'd showed up a week ago, she could have averted Jude from her suicidal path. This guy cannot die bad enough to satisfy me at this point.