American Horror Story
American Horror Story

Episode Report Card
Joe R: A- | 316 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Name Game

Unfortunately, that's exactly what Eunice does. We cut to Dr. Arden and the orderlies strapping her down on a gurney, in the same room we were all in back when Lana got her electroshock. Jude knows what's coming and she's panicking. The idea of poetic justice seems to cruel now, as Jude's on the business end of Arden's cruelty now. Jude's been on the other end of this before, with Lana. Eunice, in fact, brings up how ECT cured Lana of her "gynephilia." Jude makes a plea to Mary Eunice -- the woman inside -- screaming, "THIS IS WRONG!" Devil Eunice just gags her, then promises to "burn those bad memories" right out of her. Arden applies the instruments to Jude's temples and instructs Eunice not to go higher than 50%... so Eunice of course cranks it. The lights flicker when the juice gets put into Jude. "I Put a Spell on You," indeed.

After the break, Devil Eunice is back to suggestively dressing Monsignor Howard's wounds, this time the stigmata on his hands. She starts talking about how wounds such as these befit a "future saint" like him, but she can barely get the thought out before he gets the jump on her. He places the crucifix from his rosary on her forehead (it sizzles) and attempts to cast the demon out. Unsurprisingly, he is not at all up to the task. She throws him off and counters his Vatican-approved spells with a dirty limerick about a man whose dick was "inches thick." Sticking with the theme, she pins the Monsignor down to the bed and proceeds to investigate whether his is inches thick as well. She climbs atop him, straddling him, keeping his arms pinned back through magical devil hoodoo. He begs her to stop, despite his "body disagree[ing] with [him]," and she reaches in and pulls him out. Would you be even a little bit surprised if I told you Eunice was wearing Jude's red negligee underneath her habit? Anyway, despite Howard's "No! Yes! No!" reactions, Eunice is clearly raping him. Not that this should be a surprise -- she's the Devil and all. It's rather unsettling, even before Eunice gets to the part where she describes the sensation as a "warm, wet hug." I'm calling the adjective police on this woman; she has officially abused the privilege. And when she's done, when they're done, when he's done, Eunice turns to the door to find Dr. Arden there, looking wounded. If anybody was going to be raped by a nun around here, he really had his heart set on it.

American Horror Story

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