American Horror Story
The Name Game

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Joe R: A- | 3 USERS: A+
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The Name Game

Unfortunately, that's exactly what Eunice does. We cut to Dr. Arden and the orderlies strapping her down on a gurney, in the same room we were all in back when Lana got her electroshock. Jude knows what's coming and she's panicking. The idea of poetic justice seems to cruel now, as Jude's on the business end of Arden's cruelty now. Jude's been on the other end of this before, with Lana. Eunice, in fact, brings up how ECT cured Lana of her "gynephilia." Jude makes a plea to Mary Eunice -- the woman inside -- screaming, "THIS IS WRONG!" Devil Eunice just gags her, then promises to "burn those bad memories" right out of her. Arden applies the instruments to Jude's temples and instructs Eunice not to go higher than 50%... so Eunice of course cranks it. The lights flicker when the juice gets put into Jude. "I Put a Spell on You," indeed.

After the break, Devil Eunice is back to suggestively dressing Monsignor Howard's wounds, this time the stigmata on his hands. She starts talking about how wounds such as these befit a "future saint" like him, but she can barely get the thought out before he gets the jump on her. He places the crucifix from his rosary on her forehead (it sizzles) and attempts to cast the demon out. Unsurprisingly, he is not at all up to the task. She throws him off and counters his Vatican-approved spells with a dirty limerick about a man whose dick was "inches thick." Sticking with the theme, she pins the Monsignor down to the bed and proceeds to investigate whether his is inches thick as well. She climbs atop him, straddling him, keeping his arms pinned back through magical devil hoodoo. He begs her to stop, despite his "body disagree[ing] with [him]," and she reaches in and pulls him out. Would you be even a little bit surprised if I told you Eunice was wearing Jude's red negligee underneath her habit? Anyway, despite Howard's "No! Yes! No!" reactions, Eunice is clearly raping him. Not that this should be a surprise -- she's the Devil and all. It's rather unsettling, even before Eunice gets to the part where she describes the sensation as a "warm, wet hug." I'm calling the adjective police on this woman; she has officially abused the privilege. And when she's done, when they're done, when he's done, Eunice turns to the door to find Dr. Arden there, looking wounded. If anybody was going to be raped by a nun around here, he really had his heart set on it.

Judy Martin makes for a horrifying sight as she stumbles back into the common room after her electroshock. Everybody turns to look at the horrorshow she's become. Lana allows more and more pity for this poor creature creep into her face every time she sees Jude. She can tell just from looking at her that they "turned up the juice extra high" on her. She wonders aloud to Kit why the sight of her former tormentor brought low doesn't make her feel any better. And what happened just then well, in Whoville, they say that Lana Winters' appreciation of institutional evil as opposed to individual villainy grew three sizes that day. Dazed Judy looks at the jukebox and becomes fixated. She staggers over to it and starts whacking it with her arm. Kit, whose expression has not changed from "Whaaaa?" this entire scene, looks on as Lana heads over to intervene. "It's me," she tells Jude. "Lana. Lana Banana?" Okay, first of all: who knew back in Episode 1 that "Lana Banana" would be such an enduring moniker? Second of all, good for Lana for adopting it proudly. If they had blogs in the '60s, Lana's would obviously be called "Lana Banana" and her fans would be called Peels. Actually, if there are slashfic communities out there shipping Jude/Lana (are there still shippers? is there still slashfic?), I also hope they're called Peels for this very reason. "Do you know your name?" Lana asks, not having the first clue what that question is about to unleash.

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American Horror Story

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