American Horror Story
The Seven Wonders

Episode Report Card
Mindy Monez: A | 188 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
"BALENCIAGA!!!"
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Delphine and Marie ended up in Hell together, cursed to an eternity of each other. Queenie brought Misty Day back to life. The Axeman "murdered" Fiona. Zoe and Kyle came back. Madison and Misty had a riotous, knock-down, drag-out fight. The next Supreme remains unchosen.

How else could the season finale begin than with a Sepia-toned Steve Nicks music video set at Miss Robichaux's? The song is "Seven Wonders," which, albeit a little on-the-nose (but really, what about this show isn't?), is a great jam. Stevie Nicks is surprisingly awful at lip-synching, but holding it against her seems like no fun, especially when this sequence is such a delight. Misty twirling and throwing confetti, Zoe studying like a nerd in her room, Madison studying by way of indulging in a magical bubble bath, Queenie trying to right Nan's death (Queenie's made mistakes, but fuck Cordelia -- she really is the saint of the season), CGI plant regenesis, VH1 Classic fisheye lens, everything. This show has a lot of faults, but at least it makes it easy to forgive them with stuff like this.

The girls line up on the grand staircase like perfect little Von Trapps and Stevie wishes them all luck before flouncing out of the house forever. Somehow, Misty manages not to throw herself to the ground, grab Stevie's ankles and force her to drag her wailing body behind her as she goes. So that's progress!

Coven title sequence for the last time. It wasn't my favorite one, but it did kind of grow on me as the season went on. Particularly that part where the woman laughs her ass off while stabbing a doll. That part's goddamn relatable.

Myrtle is hosting that hallowed of TV tropes, The Last Supper (Last Suppers by Myrtle Snow is the kind of small business I'd invest in, by the way). The girls enjoy caviar, blinis and champagne as shit gets even more biblical. Delia recites that Bible verse about being a child and thinking like a child and then growing up and thinking like a "woman," the regendered line falling heavily, because, after all, this season thinks it's all about girl power. There's a nice moment where Queenie silently takes Delia's hand and helps her with her food, not because she was asked or because other people could see it, but because she's innately kind. It is kind of a bummer that Queenie doesn't end up with the crown, isn't it? I'm not furious about it – being Supreme kind of sucks -- but it still doesn't feel quite right to me. At any rate, Delia advises the girls to put aside their petty childish bullshit and focus on the test. It's go time.

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American Horror Story

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