American Horror Story
Tricks and Treats

Episode Report Card
Joe R: A- | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Tricks and Treats

After the break, we're in a bathing room where Lana and Grace have been placed into hot baths with burlap coverings on the tubs. Not sure if that's a restrictive measure to guard against escape or a punitive measure (Lana says the water hurts her burns). Grace, however, managed smuggle in a shiv of some sort, so she's able to cut herself free and move about the bathroom nakedly. And don't think Lana doesn't notice. She's in a relationship with a woman who had her committed, she's not DEAD. Grace unties Lana's burlap and goes to the window to admire the trees. Lana asks her if she ever thinks of escaping. Grace rolls her eyes at yet another newbie who thinks escape is possible. But Lana's not just idly chit-chatting, of course. She knows there's a tunnel; she was brought in through it. Grace is still officially dubious, but it's not like she's walking away. Lana says she needs help pulling off an escape, but nobody else can know. Immediately, Grace wants to take Kit with them. Just as immediately, Lana says no way -- she's not bringing a vicious killer with them. Grace says she's seen killers in this place and Kit isn't one of them. Lana holds firm; Kit is her line in the sand. Grace observes that Lana has trouble trusting people. "You would too," Lana says, "if the person you loved most in the world betrayed you." Fair point. Grace says she knows what that's like. Intrigue!

Down in the kitchen, it looks like Dr. Arden is wrapping up some leftover dinner rolls to take home when he's approached by Shelley, who says she saw him hanging around with "Our Lady of Perpetual Virginity." As you probably expected, Shelley's flirtations are incredibly blunt and with very little left to the imagination. Dr. Arden is, frankly, disgusted by this and keeps calling Shelley a whore. The whole scene is fairly tedious and repetitive. Shelley grinds up on Arden, Arden shoves her away, Arden calls her a dirty slut, Shelley responds with an overwritten monologue about how women aren't allowed to enjoy sex in this society. She ends up telling him (us) her life story: how her mother made her wear mittens to bed as a child because she couldn't stop touching herself. How she ran away and found a jazz musician and married him, but after they got hitched, she became his property and he started screwing every "Betty" in town, so she got her revenge come Fleet Week by shtupping a pair of Navy guys. So her husband A) decked her, then B) committed her, and of course the country let her because Things Were Awful Then. All she wants is for Arden to give her five minutes outdoors, in the sun. But she's disgusting to him, so he turns her down and calls her a whore, despite her clearly stated hatred of that word. So... Dr. Arden's got a problem with women, let's say.

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American Horror Story

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