American Horror Story
Unholy Night

Episode Report Card
Joe R: A- | 4 USERS: A+
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Mad Santa

Devil Eunice has him call security, and soon enough, they're dragging Sister Jude out. She calls out to Arden that he's making a huge mistake. "Because you deny God, you can't see the devil right in front of you." Ah, talking in metaphors that are not metaphors. Well put, Judy. From the landing above, Devil Eunice takes a pen from Dr. Arden's hand and makes sure there's a good bit of contact when she does. "We have a problem," he tells her. She sort of laughs it off, but he says he's not talking about Sister Jude, though he tells Eunice not to underestimate her. Ah, the first sign of a grudging respect between the two old dogs. No, he's talking about Frank and his guilty conscience. Devil Eunice calmly says she's got it under control.

In one of the solitary cells, Devil Eunice slides a big, festive gift box across the floor ... to Ian McShane. He mistakes her for Sister Jude at first ("I thought you said you never wanted to see me again"), but Eunice says that Sister Jude is gone. We're taken to a flashback to 1963, the year after Ian's Christmas rampage. Sister Jude is assembling the inmates into position for a Christmas photo, while Ian loudly complains that he has to wear uncomfortable handcuffs. Jude delivers some exposition by way of chastising him: he killed 18 people from five families that night a year ago, she says, and there is no way she's dumb enough to take those shackles off him for one second. He pouts and says he doesn't want to be a part of her "lie" of happy, Christmassy inmates anyway. She tells him he's got it wrong. The Christmas photo isn't intended to advance a lie of contented prisoners. It's to remind the public that, but for Briarcliff, these monsters would be out among them. Which is why she wants Ian front and center. She slaps him hard on the shoulder and tells him he will be shackled and under control for the photo. She stares back at her like he wants to rest HER merry gentlemen.

One of the orderlies, Sean, is handing out presents (bags of chestnuts! Try to contain your joy!) to the patients. Sister Jude pulls Frank aside and expresses her displeasure that Sean is wearing a Santa hat and beard while he does it. After all, she has expressly forbade any non-Jesus-focused Christmas iconography. Frank basically tells her to calm down about it. Mary Eunice then enters with the photographer, and while Sister Jude chastises her for bringing him in before they were ready to take the picture, Sean tries to hand Ian his bag of chestnuts. Ian "clumsily" drops them to the ground, and when Sean bends over to pick it up, Ian grabs him and tears into his face with his teeth. I think he ends up biting his nose off, all while the photographer snaps away ("What a scoop!"). Sister Jude orders for Ian to be taken to the hole. And I guess that's where he's been for the last year. He's missed a lot. Civil Rights Act. The death of Jawaharlal Nehru. Patricia Neal wins the Oscar for Hud. Sad.

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American Horror Story

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