American Horror Story
American Horror Story

Episode Report Card
Joe R: A- | 431 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Welcome to Briarcliff

Back to Dr. Arden: "I hope you don't mind if I don't use anesthetic," he tells Kit, in that misleadingly calm voice of his. "It interferes with my readings." That right there is a GREAT, unshowy horror movie line. Good to mix those in with the howlers.

Lana creeps along. I halfway expect her to come across the animal-masked perverts from The Shining. She comes upon and open door and finds Shelley giving a beej to an orderly, who tells Lana she's not supposed to be in here. Lana: "I guess you better report me, then. Unless nobody saw anything." Obvs, Lana is looking for Kit. Shelley tells her they took him to solitary. She spots Sister Jude entering the ward at the end of the hallway and both she and Lana hide out in separate open rooms. Sister Jude snoops along but doesn't appear to catch Lana.

Kit asks Dr. Arden why he's doing this to him. Arden tells him it's his belief that the Devil lives not in hell, but in the recesses of the human brain. Evil is not a supernatural entity; it's part of us; and he's determined to learn as much about where it comes from and how it manifests itself as possible. And he means to do that my cutting into the brains of murderers, rapists, psychos and the like. Sounds like fun? Maybe not for Kit. He points to a cabinet full of brains in jars, obviously culled from previous patients. Boy, it's weird that Sister Jude didn't notice all those brains just sitting there backlit on the shelves like they are. Arden says ten of those brains put together don't match the evil that resides in Kit's "cute, blond melon." And how! Arden hooks Kit up to all sorts of monitors, he straps his head down, he props his eyes open with those Clockwork Orange clamps. Kit keeps getting PTSD flashes of his abduction, including both Alma and the Beasts of the Southern Wild music. He sees her scream "HELP ME!" and then get sucked up into the air. While Kit's getting these flashes (NEEDLE TO THE EYEBALL NOOOOPE!), Dr. Arden is puzzling over the details of Kit's alleged crimes. Not to pass judgment, see; only to understand methodology. Maaaaan offfff Scieeeeeence! Apparently Bloody Face's victims were skinned? From the feet up? Charming. Also, as a person who is forced to pause the episode multiple times as he recaps, it is my job to tell you that there is a shot of slender alien fingers creeping up between Kit's legs and towards his b-hole. Kit screams. Oh please, those fingers aren't thick enough to make anyone scream. Arden pokes around Kit's neck and find something hard. It's not a tumor. As we get flashes of the aliens scalpeling Kit's neck open to insert something, Dr. Arden scalpels at the same spot to remove the thing. It appears to be a microchip, hexagonal, about the size of a memory card, well outside of mainstream technology in the '60s (for humans anyway). Arden removes it and places in on a piece of gauze on Kit's shoulder. Suddenly, the thing sprouts six spider-like legs and scurries away! So we've got that running loose in the hospital. Super. Eye pokers and spider-chips. These aliens are really looking to freak me out.

American Horror Story

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