Once again, the AHS credits are the scariest thing going. Madness and body parts and religious iconography and nuns straddling bound patients, and someone crawling up a flight of stairs backwards and upside down, and then the ivory statue of the Virgin Mary SMILES AAAAHHHHH!
After the opening credits, we're placed in the year 1964, where one assumes the bulk of our story will take place. We're introduced to a gas station attendant named Kit (played by Evan Peters) who was, of course, our beloved ghostly teen Tate last season. Tate went and got himself a flippy little hairdo and a bit of a Boston accent for Season 2 and given how eagerly this show cribs from other sources, I'm kind of hoping the inspiration for Kit was arrived at after someone watched the Footloose remake. After dealing with a rather rude little family of customers, Kit closes up shop for the night and starts singing alone to "There Goes My Baby" in a way that suggests he has a baby he's going home to. The familiar ding that heralds a new customer rings and Kit calls out that they're closed. In horror-movie parlance, this is a huge sign of danger, but in this case it's just a fake-out. Not that Kit's d-bag friends are much better, as the spring on Kit with beers in hand. They swipe the gun Kit keeps next to the cash box, saying they need it to go scare some n-word who messed with the little sister of one of them. Kit says absolutely not and is clearly not down with the n-wording of the featured friend, who looks like if Giovanni Ribisi weren't mentally disturbed. Sane Giovanni sees he's struck a nerve and starts needling Kit about how he's heard rumors that Kit has hired a maid, and then grab Kit's Hershey bar and starts making suggestive mention about the "chocolate." So he either wants to do Kit in the bum or he's heard that Kit's seeing a black girl. Either is possible. Both maybe!
We get out answer after Kit returns home to his chicken farm (okay?) where he greets a lovely black girl who he addresses as Mrs. Walker. She calls him Mr. Walker and they are married and in love, but society is hostile to them so they must keep a low profile and you're already pissing me off, 1964. Pull your shit together. Poor Kit can't even wear his wedding ring outside the house. He wants to go public, but she's too afraid. The world may change one day, but not today. So instead, they're just going to have some frisky-yet-sweet sex before dinner. For some reason, the music for these scenes is either a knockoff of the Beasts of the Southern Wild score or the real thing, and I can't quite explain why either would be here. Lord knows why I'm making a fuss about the music when Kit is getting progressively nakeder. Afterwards, there's glowing to be done, but alas, the roast is still in the oven so Mrs. Kit does her wifely thing (hey, the sexual revolution comes later, I guess) and tends to it in the kitchen. Suddenly, lights illuminate the bedroom from the outside and Kit springs to action, thinking the local crackers have come to harass. He throws his clothes on (BOO!) and grabs his shotgun, yelling to his wife (Alma?) to stay in the kitchen. (For the record, she doesn't respond and we don't see her again.) Kit's in the yard, yelling for Sane Giovanni to show himself when another bright light shines on him, this time from above, in classic alien abduction formation. So... that's on the table now. Alma yells for help from inside and Kit races to find her. The house is already looking ransacked, the light keeps shining, there's some noise that blasts Kit's ears out, and all of a sudden, he's lying on the floor of his living room... and that's when the gravity stops working. He's up on the ceiling, then back on the floor and (after the telltale sound effect of a Polaroid camera whine -- a la Texas Chainsaw Massacre) we see some flashes of Kit strapped to an alien table, being poked at by long, extraterrestrial fingers.