American Idol
American Idol

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 139 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Mimi vs. Nicki

Day two kicks off with Nicki and Mariah starting right in on each other. We begin the day with a pudgy guy in a Jheri curl wig and a plastic Michael Jackson Halloween costume that he can no longer sip up. This fellow, Benjamin Gaisey, sings a version of "I'll Make Love To You" that is almost drowned out by the creaking of his costume, but not enough. Inadvisably, he sings it directly to Mariah and also to Nicki, throwing in a pelvic thrust at the latter that seems to genuinely shock her. They all laugh in his face, and Nicki even encourages him while Keith hides under the table. Randy asks about the wig and Benjamin explains how it's all for his idol. "You obviously love Tom Jones," Keith cracks. They tell him no as though he's serious about this and he creaks on out of the room. The wig stays on, though.

Another Staten Islander is up, name of Rozanna Shindelman. Apparently she subjects her parents to all of her practicing. While she's in the audition room, her mom holds forth to Ryan at length about Rozanna's "sinkink" in a heavy Russian accent. An accent which, alas, Rozanna preserves in her singing voice. Unfortunately, she makes up for her diction by being a terrible singer in general. That's four nyets for Rozanna, which leads into a montage of rejection, including of one guy who farts while singing. And, of course, it's all really emotionally draining and upsetting and disappointing... for the judges.

A seventeen-year-old from New Jersey -- not the urban part but the blueberry capital of Hammonton -- seems eager to become this season's Skylar Laine by hopping on her four-wheeler and tearing around the farm for the cameras. This is Sarah Restuccio, who sings a Carrie Underwood song well enough to satisfy the judges although they're not exactly speechless. Randy asks for another song, so she does Nicki's own "Superbass," which Nicki gamely joins in on. Randy's head explodes, of course. Now Randy and Keith don't know what to think, because if someone doesn't stick to one genre on this show they're finished, do you hear me, FINISHED! Oh shut up, you two; if Nicki Minaj is in the room and you can nail "Superbass," you nail "Superbass." I don't even care what room it is, whether it's the American Idol auditions, a cocktail party or just some windowless TSA back room at the airport. Nicki makes a passionate case for Sarah and talks them all into saying yes. Normally the judges don't start trying to stuff people into their little boxes until at least Hollywood, do they?

American Idol

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